On Saturday night I was out with my friends. As most guys do when they get together we were just shooting the breeze talking about all kinds of things. One of my friends mentioned someone who had some problems and said because of these personal problems, he would never be able to marry because whoever marries him would have a difficult life. One of my other friends who was listening said that the person should just lie. Then he said “better yet, he should just lie to a Moroccan. Once this con man sponsors her and she lives in his country, she is stuck.” The rest of us were shocked at what he said. I couldn’t believe that this guy would say something like that.
It made me question what kind of person he is and how he values people. The next day this con man messages me, asking me to help him so that he can marry a Moroccan girl. This is a guy who a day ago was telling me he wanted to date Turkish and Bosnian girls and a week ago he was saying that he was player who would never stop trying to get with women. I was so pissed that he asked me to help him marry a Moroccan girl after giving us advice to lie to a Moroccan girl because “once they come to your country, its too late for them.” I told him sorry but your on your own. I found what you said to be so disrespectful to Moroccan people and I can’t in good conscience help him. He later told me that it was just a joke, which I thought was a cop out to cover his behavior. This whole scenario had me thinking about his characteristics. He is my friend (although I am pissed at him) who I do want to see happy, but it is just wrong for him to con women (or anyone) to get what he wants. So this article is being written to point out some red flags to watch out for by any con man who is trying to con you in a relationship.
- One of the main things to see is if the person is interested in your culture and beliefs. Its easy to say all the things you want to hear but if the person is not interested in the differences between you and them, this is a sign that they have no care about your background and will be expecting you to change for them
- If the person is caught lying and makes an excuse. Let’s face it most people in the world lie. We are not perfect we will make mistakes from time to time. While lying itself is bad, in some circumstances you can forgive someone for lying. But if someone is caught lying and tries to make an excuse out of it, the person will never stop and the lies will only get worse.
- If the person doesn’t want to do things that you would like to do. One of the red flags to watch out for is when you find the person only wants to do the things that make them happy. If you are not in agreement with them they will most likely go without you.
- When the person doesn’t want to share their personal things that happened in their life, this is a sign that they don’t trust you. When I say personal things I mean things that carry emotions with them. If the person never speaks about these things then they will never feel a real connection with you and will be looking elsewhere.
- If the person gets pissed when your unavailable and he doesn’t know why. This is a sign of guilt on their part. It’s either because they have done things while away from you that they don’t want you to know or they are thinking of it. Either way they are feeling guilty about it and think that if they are like this you will be like them as well.
Even though the article was inspired by my friend who is a man, I tried to make the points as gender neutral as possible. In the end my goal is to point out the red flags to avoid and to help good people find other good people. I do hope those people who display these characteristics change their ways. I think a lot of people will be happier if we are more honest and respectful with each other. No matter where we are from.