The sad story of the scammed bride 2018

Our story continues as the scammed bride has decided to fight the decision. The scammed bride is not only determined to win but she is determined to see her husband in Morocco. She does not see that her own government believes she is a scammed bride. Let’s see how her story progresses. If you haven’t been following these posts you’re going to want to read the first post in this series. You can access it here. It should be obvious but just in case readers are not aware. The purpose of these posts is to show you a story of a scammed bride. You will be able to follow the story of a scammed bride and be able to see the red flags.

January 3, 2018

Today is our first wedding anniversary and I am still thinking about the application denial. The interviewer asked so many stupid questions. For example, she asked why we didn’t have a large wedding. Do they not know how chaotic the wedding process is? How can you plan for something when you don’t really know when you will be married? It’s not like I have friends and family that can just travel to Morocco at the drop of a dime. It’s much more practical that we have a small wedding. Adam told me that he told this answer. In the transcript, she wrote that he did not answer that question. I’m so angry at this blatant lie. Then the other lie was about children. She asked him about me possibly not being able to have children. He told her that he did not want to have children and that although it may be a challenge, he intends to face that challenge with me. The interviewer changed his words and said that his answer was not having children would be a challenge. It’s two completely different stories! I know the answers that Adam provided because we practiced them before the interview. She also left a lot of important information out of the transcript, like how Adam told her he plans to work and eventually buy us a home. The transcript paints Adam to be this con man and me to be this naive girl. First of all, I’m 50. I’m not a little girl. Second, I’ve known Adam for 3 years! If he was just trying to “improve his financial situation” as the transcript states, I think I would have figured it out by now. Does she even realize how many weeks I spent with Adam and his family? I guess she thinks she knows him after 1 hour as supposed to me who has spent 8 weeks with him. The arrogance of this woman is amazing.

January 8, 2018

I was speaking to my friend at work about my situation and she brought up a good point. Why isn’t the interview recorded for quality control? In our profession, our calls are recorded so that if there is a discrepancy, we have proof. Where is the proof? The interview made up so many lies and it’s basically our word against hers. I have no idea how our lawyer is going to win this case for us without any proof. Me and Adam have an appointment with our lawyer this Thursday.

January 11, 2018

Just finished up with the lawyer. To be honest, I was expecting the meeting to give me more confidence in our appeal. After the meeting, I have less confidence than before. She agreed with us that there are inconsistencies in the stories. We have evidence that works in our favor. However, in the end, we may still lose the case. What they will be focusing on is our “weaknesses”, which are the age difference and the difference in cultures. She explained the proofs that we would need to counter their arguments. I was hoping she would say that this is an open-and-shut case but I guess they are going to try to justify their decisions. Adam was really quiet today. He didn’t say much in the meeting. Even after, he just texted me saying that he needed some time to himself. I understand him now. When he goes through this depression, he distances himself and he won’t speak with me until he is over it. I’ll give him time but he needs to know that I’m going through depression as well and I need him. I’ll be strong as long I can but I’m hoping he gets over this soon.

January 18, 2018

One week has passed and I have heard nothing about my appeal, from the lawyer, or even Adam. I feel like I’m alone in this world. Everything is just a blur to me. I would take a vacation to clear my head but I’m in so much debt right now so I have to keep pushing. I wish Adam would get over his depression. It seems that whenever he has issues I’m the one that is supportive. Whenever I’m going through something, he has little to no interest at all. Marriage is about to give and take. He can’t be the one taking all the time. This is one of the things he needs to change.

February 8, 2018

Enough is enough. It’s almost been a month and I haven’t heard from Adam. This is not a real marriage. Does he think when times are tough, he can just leave for months at a time? I’m the one who is fighting for this marriage, doing everything to try to win the appeal and he just disappears. My stress level is through the roof. Even a simple text saying that he thinking of me would help so much. I’m just about ready to end things. I can’t take it anymore.

February 15, 2018

Things are back to normal, so to speak. Yesterday Adam called me. I was happy to hear his voice and know that he was ok but I was still angry that he didn’t call in over a month. We spoke for more than 6 hours. I told him that this can’t happen ever again. We are married now and cannot abandon me whenever he feels bad, he needs to speak to me every day. I told him, how are we going to prove we have a genuine marriage if disappears for months at a time? He agreed and promised he would change. He said with everything that we have gone through, to get denied really affected him. He needed to go away with some friends for a week. Then after he came back, he wanted to look for a job. He told me he was embarrassed that his wife had to support him. He said it was his job to support me, not the other way around. I told him, I understand how he feels but this is an equal partnership. If one of us is down, the other partner helps. I told him I have no problem with sending him money every month but if he wants to search for work it is no problem. Just make sure to contact me every day. Even if he is tired, send a quick text. He said he promises he will communicate with me every day. The rest of the time was spent like how we spent it before, saying how much we loved each other. Being that it was Valentine’s Day, this made the conversation even more romantic. He would go on and tell me what our future would be like. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that his idea is more of a dream and he would have to work very hard to achieve it. Maybe I’m wrong. After all, he was a professor at a university. He could get a job as a professor. Then he could help with these debts I have. In the end, I’m just happy he is back and he is the same wonderful man I fell in love with.

February 22, 2018

So finally some good news. Yesterday we had a meeting with the lawyer. She told us something that was very interesting. Apparently, the notes were written 6 weeks after the interview! This is probably why the notes were filled with lies. Well, the lawyer said that this works in our favor because if she forgot to submit the notes then she should have called Adam and asked him to do another interview. I bet you, she didn’t take the notes. She just wanted to reject him. When she realized that we are playing hardball, she scrambled to make the notes filled with lies. The lawyer said that things are now leaning towards us but still need to collect proof and submit it. After the meeting, me and Adam were talking and decided I should come to Morocco this year but stay for a month. I had no problem with this plan but I was worried about work. I spoke to my manager this morning and he told me it shouldn’t be a problem but the company would not pay for 2 out of the 4 weeks. I could use the money but it’s more important that I’m with my husband. I spoke to Tim about me going away for a month and he didn’t have any problems as well. He is so busy with his life with his senior year and college applications, besides cooking and doing his laundry, he can basically take care of himself. So the next thing for me to do is buy a ticket. Morocco here I come!

March 8, 2018

Finally, I bought my tickets. I’ll be leaving on Jun 8 and returning on Jul 15. I let my manager think that I would be away for only 1 month and I’m actually going to be away for 5 weeks. I need to be with Adam for as much time as I can. I’ll just tell my manager I lost my passport or the airline canceled the flight. I know it’s dishonest but I’m doing this for a good cause. Plus the more time I spend with Adam, the more proof we have. I haven’t told Adam yet but I will let him know tomorrow. Morocco here I come!

March 9, 2018

I just had a weird conversation with Adam. I told him that I would be coming to Morocco for 5 weeks. I thought he would be thrilled and excited about this. Instead when I told him that I was coming his response was just ok. I then told him that I would be staying for 5 weeks. He asked about my job and I told him that for 3 of those 5 weeks I wouldn’t be paid. His response was, “I don’t think this is a good choice because you will lose money for 3 weeks”. I told him, we need to spend time together if we will prove that our marriage is genuine. He agreed but wasn’t as excited as I thought he would be. It’s almost like he doesn’t want me to come. We’ve spent many conversations where he would wish I was there with him and now that it can be a reality, he is acting like he is half happy. Sometimes I really don’t understand him.

March 11, 2018

I spent the day crying my eyes out. Yesterday I decided to bring up Adam’s attitude towards my coming to Marocco in June. I pushed and pushed and finally said that he wasn’t too happy because he was looking for work and he would have to stop searching when I was there. I told him that I was working and supporting both of us. He has been searching for a while now and maybe a break will help recharge him. He then started to get angry telling me that I have no right to tell him what to do. I told him I’m not telling him what to do but rather suggesting it. He got really defensive and told me don’t give him any suggestions. I asked him again, do you really want me to come to Morocco? He said no, I don’t want you to come. My heart broke when he said this. He ended the conversation as he usually does when he hurts me. This morning he sent a text saying he was going to be in the countryside, visiting his aunt. I have no idea how long he will be away and have no idea where this countryside is. At this point, I don’t know whether this appeal is worth it.

April 9, 2018

Adam finally returned. It was another month of him being away. He apologized and told me that he is so ashamed of not working and having his wife support him that he doesn’t feel like a real man. I told him that I really understand how he feels but he put me through so much and I can’t keep doing this over and over. He told me that his heart broke after what he said to me. He never meant what he said and was only venting because he was so frustrated at not finding work. I asked him if I should stop sending him money. He said once he finds work, he will no longer ask me to help. I guess this was his way of saying he still needed help. He told me of course he was excited about me coming. He said that we would actually get to travel a lot more this time. He promised that this vacation would be even better than any other time. I’m glad he has gotten over his funk but how long will it be before he treats me badly again? I want to forgive him and in a way I did forgive him but now, I’m looking at this marriage in a different light.

April 15, 2018

Things seemed to be back to normal. Actually, they are a little better. Adam is speaking with me daily these days. When I say speaking, this isn’t the typical message being sent back and forth. He is actually calling and speaking with his voice. He has been so sweet since he returned. I think that he just needed the time off to cool off. I asked about the job search and he still hasn’t found anything. I didn’t even bother trying to give him any advice this time. He told me about all the places we would visit when I come. It’s making me so excited about this trip. Also, I submitted the proofs to the lawyer and she has sent those proofs to Rabat. She told me that we are doing a good job and to keep it up. Wouldn’t it be something if we won the appeal and he would be returning with me? One could dream LOL.

April 23, 2018

I’m so pissed. Once again one of the girls at work is trying to make trouble in my life. At lunch, I was speaking with the girls like we usually do and just filling them in on my chaos. One of them who started joining us a few months ago started going on about how Adam is just scamming me and I am a scammed bride. She started telling me about the red flags. Like I haven’t heard this before. She then told me that Adam doesn’t have any plans and I should have gotten a private investigator to check him out before I agreed to marry him. I told her that many people get together without any plans. This is not a reason for him to be a scammer. Also even if I could find a private investigator, how would I know if they were scamming me? She obviously couldn’t answer so she changed to the “he is younger than you” argument. I told her that our relationship may not seem normal to her but it is the deepest loving relationship I have ever been in. She ended by saying in her country of Nigeria, she saw these scams every day and knows when someone is scammed bride. I left the lunch right away because I couldn’t take it. One of the other girls told me to not pay attention to her because she was very opinionated. I’m so angry that when Adam called me I told him that I was busy and would have to talk to him tomorrow. Imagine me, giving Adam the cold shoulder. I hope he doesn’t take it to heart. I’m just so angry right now, I need to gather my thoughts before I speak to anyone.

April 25, 2018

I have the most wonderful husband in the world. It took 2 days before I decided to call him. I thought he would be mad but instead, he completely understood me. He said if I needed more time he would give it to me. He told me that we are exactly the same, when we are angry we need time to cool off. He said this is why he would stop talking to me. I told him, I don’t want you to take months away from me. He said he promises that this will not happen again. If he is angry, he will just text me daily instead of calling. He then told me our love is something people will be jealous of. I need to be more careful about who I tell about my life. And he is right. I shouldn’t be telling anyone about what is happening in my life. Then Adam just said to forgive her and let her think about what she wanted. Her ideas do not control us so let her have them. I don’t remember being so knowledgeable at Adam’s age. I’m so lucky to have him in my life. I need to focus on myself and my marriage and stop caring about what other people think.

May 5, 2018

Had a busy day today. In the morning I went out with Tim to pick up a suit for his prom and graduation. It seemed like me and Tim have been drifting apart. Part of it is my fault too. With the horrible news of the visa denial and my trying to get through this appeal, I’ve been too busy to make time with Tim. I do feel very guilty. I didn’t know that he scored 1237 on his SATs. I didn’t know that he got accepted with a partial scholarship to the university of Miami. I knew he was interested in Miami but didn’t know he got accepted. What’s really crazy is that I’m the one who gets the mail. LOL. I asked him if he needed any financial help but Tim being Tim refused. He said that he had some money to get him through most of the first year and was planning on working part-time. I’m not surprised. Tim has become such a responsible man. The last piece of news that shocked me was that he and Shirly broke up. He told me while we were driving to the store. Assuming he was still with Shirly, I was asking him what the plans were for prom night with him and Shirly and that’s when he told me they were through. I was so used to Shirly being in his life, I asked him if he was going to the prom alone. He then started laughing for what seemed to be forever. I then joined him. I guess it’s silly to think that he would go alone. He said he asked some girl in one of his classes to go as friends and she said yes. Although part of me feels bad that he and Shirly broke up, part of me feels good. If he was going to the prom with her, I would have to have one of those talks about the prom night and he needs to wait until he goes to college. With this new girl, who is more of a classmate than a romantic interest, I can skip that awkward conversation. After me and Tim were done, I went to the lawyer to discuss my case. She told me that the embassy had received our file for an appeal and that they would be working on this quickly so be prepared to hear of the court date soon. I asked her what will happen if they call me in while I’m in Morocco. She said we will probably hear about the date in the next few weeks. If the date falls within the time I am in Morocco I could try to attend remotely but she highly advises that I attend in person. She said that we want to make sure we make our best case and being in person will show that we are taking this seriously. I’m worried that I may need to cancel my vacation. I’ll have to tell Adam about this. He is away with his friends on a trip, returning next week. After I was done with the lawyer, some old friends visited me. I haven’t seen this couple since I was with Charlie. I told them about my situation with Adam. They were supportive which was nice for a change. I’m so tired of listening to negative people telling me that I am a scammed bride. They ended up taking me and Tim out for dinner in the evening. Both of them said they couldn’t bare half of what I am going through. I guess these are the sacrifices you do when you are in love.

May 9, 2018

I just got the call from the lawyer. The court date is set for Jun 7, 2018. On a good note, I leave for Morocco on Jun 8, 2018, so I don’t have to worry about canceling my vacation plans. Still, I’m so worried. What if our appeal is denied? I’ll be so depressed going to Morocco. I haven’t even told Adam yet. We are going to be so busy preparing for Jun 7.

May 12, 2018

Just came back from the courthouse. I think I spent almost 5 hours there. I understand now why the lawyer wanted to bring me today. The case is almost similar to mine. The spouse is from Tunisia and he is 18 years younger than his wife. The only difference is that the woman was divorced 3 times. I wrote down a lot of questions that were thrown at her. I still haven’t spoken to Adam yet. He is supposed to come home today but he hasn’t messaged me yet. I’m not even worried about that. All of my thoughts are just focused on Jun 7.

May 19, 2018

This entire week has just gone by so quickly. I’ve barely had any time for myself. I spend all my free time preparing my notes for my appeal. Adam messaged me last Sunday. I’m so preoccupied with this appeal that even he was surprised that I was not upset that he didn’t message me when he arrived home. Our conversations are just about reviewing the notes and specific events in our relationship. It feels like we are studying for an exam. I’ve started getting these reoccurring headaches. Adam thinks is because I’m not eating regularly these days.

June 7, 2018

It’s 1 am and I have no desire to go to sleep. I’ve spent the last month preparing our notes and reviewing them with Adam. We had a meeting with the lawyer 2 days ago and she said that we are ready, especially with all the evidence we will present. Even Adam said his connection will not be a problem tomorrow. It seems like everything is going to finally go my way. So why am I feeling like this? Why is it that my life has to be determined by those who don’t even know me or my situation? People who determined to think that I am a scammed bride.

June 10, 2018

I thought I would have been writing on Jun 7, saying that I won the appeal. That was not the case. I showed up, we presented our case, provided the evidence, and answered everything the counsel asked. Adam answered everything as well, even though he did not understand some of the questions. My lawyer asked the council to give his consent but he refused. He claims that he has some concerns because of the cultural differences, especially with my husband saying that he does not want children. I think he came in trying to tear us apart. His only goal was to convince the judge that I am a scammed bride. The judge told him and my lawyer to submit their reports within the next two weeks and he would make a decision. So it’s back to waiting. Knowing this pathetic man, he will probably wait until the last minute to submit his report. I hate not being able to fully enjoy being on vacation with my husband. He too is feeling upset that we did not get a decision on the same day. He said let’s give each other a few days to improve our feelings. He is right. At this time, I can’t get into doing anything fun in Morocco.

June 14, 2018

So I’m starting to feel better. After a few days of us moping around our apartment in Marrakech, Adam took me to visit his family for Eid. As usual, they treated me so well, and after I drank the tea, I could feel myself becoming happy. What is in that tea? My appetite returned as well. I ate so much. Anyways, we returned home and we are going to be taking a few day trips in the next week. My heart still hurts when I think about the appeal but I’m trying to focus on Adam and my vacation in Morocco.

June 21, 2018

Just when I started to enjoy myself in Morocco, I am once again given bad news. My lawyer called me saying that the council has asked for additional time to submit his report. He was given until Jul 21, 2018. Now my vacation is ruined. We canceled all of our excursions for the rest of my vacation. Adam has also become depressed. He is starting to leave in the evenings, coming home late at night. He says he just hanging out with friends. This is not helping me.

July 4, 2018

I think I hit my limit today. I was at the market shopping. Normally we go out at night. Adam says that it’s too hot during the day. I always assumed it was because he liked to nap during the day because he wanted to go out with his friends at night. I don’t usually nap during the day so I’m bored for the entire afternoon. I decided to go out today. It must have been at least 120 today. When I finished shopping, I was looking for a taxi but I couldn’t find any. I waited outside in the heat for like 30 minutes before I couldn’t wait any longer. I called Adam to pick me up. He wasn’t happy, to say the least. After an hour and almost passing out in the heat he arrived and wouldn’t stop yelling at me. He went on to say that the reason there were no taxis was because of the heat. Normally everyone sleeps at this time. I knew about the siestas but I didn’t think taxi drivers would stop working, especially with the tourists in the city. He didn’t stop yelling at me when we entered the home. At this point, I stop trying to apologize and let him yell. I bought a box of juice a was about pour a glass for myself. Adam grabbed juice, drank it straight from the bottle, and threw it back at me, spilling the juice all over me and my dress. Then he says, “maybe now can cool off from the heat”. He then left the apartment. I have no idea where he went and I really don’t care. I’m leaving in 11 days but I contemplating getting an early ticket and going home. After everything that we went through, he is going to blow it away.

July 5, 2018

I can’t believe this. We won! My lawyer called me this afternoon. Even though we were not speaking, I told Adam. He thought I was joking. When he realized that I was telling him the truth he was speechless. He is on the phone with his family right now. I feel like I’m in a dream.

July 6, 2018

People are so stupid.

July 7, 2018

I was so angry yesterday. One thing I should have written here is that I have been on this forum for the past few years. Really since I sent I started the sponsorship process. It was just to get an understanding of the process. While on this forum, I’ve told people about my story. For the most part, I receive support from these users but a few days ago, while letting the group know of the good news, a lot of people were not so supportive. Instead, they were warning me that a got to see a glimpse of the real Adam and this is not how I should spend the rest of my life. Really I’m so tired of people shouting scammed bride, scammed bride, scammed bride at me. After taking a day, I understand the concern. That night me and Adam had a long talk. I told him that I wasn’t happy with the way he behaved that day. He understood my concern and apologized. He told me, he too was frustrated with the entire sponsorship. He promised now that this nightmare is over, he is going to change and be the man I fell in love with. I only have 9 days left here. I spoke to my lawyer and she said that it may be possible but chances are Adam will not get his visa in time to come home with me. It would have been perfect to have him come home with me. I’m not going to get my hopes up. Knowing that he will eventually come home is good enough for me.

July 22, 2018

Back home again. As I expected Adam didn’t get his visa. They waited until the day I left to contact him and tell him he needed to do his police clearance and medicals all over again. He is going to get his police clearance tomorrow. For his medical test, he needs to travel to Casablanca. He has an appointment for this test on July 31. I told him, once he gets the results, to translate them into english.

August 6, 2018

It’s been so hot here in Orlando. It’s so hard just to do simple things like go to work. Adam says that so many working people in Morocco take the month of August off and take their families up north where the weather is cooler. Unfortunately, Adam is going to have to understand it doesn’t work like that here. He doesn’t realize the only reason I got that much time off was I had to arrange it off. Two of those weeks were unpaid. Also, he doesn’t understand that coming to see him was really expensive. If he was here, I would never spend that much money on a vacation, especially in America. I’ve explained that I’ll need him to help me pay off these debts I have. He says this is his primary goal but he still talks about going on these trips all over the country. Maybe, one day we will be able to do this.

August 20, 2018

Adam finally had the documents translated and sent to the embassy I asked the lawyer how long the process will take and she said it depends on them. I guess that means that they will work on it when they are ready to work on it. I check the status online every day and the status is always the same. Not even an update. I’ve asked a few people online and they are all in the same situation. It’s as if the entire embassy decided to take the month off.

September 19, 2018

Well, still no updates on Adam’s visa but I’ve heard a few people are now getting updates. Both me and Adam are patiently waiting. I think knowing now that he is accepted makes it easier for us. I know some people are being scheduled for interviews and they are so nervous. I’m glad I’m past that part.

October 24, 2018

Adam got his letter to pick up his visa! The wait is finally over. His letter says to come to the embassy on November 21, 2018, to pick up the visa. Well, it says a lot more than that but he’s going to get his visa next month. He’s coming! He’s coming! He’s coming!

November 21, 2018

The day has finally come. Adam has his visa! He arrived at the embassy at 8 am. When he entered he was seated with around 50 other people. I guess they gather a bunch of people to give them visas on a particular day. Once everyone was seated they showed a short video of life in America and they then gave everyone their visas. We decided to hold off on booking tickets until he had his visa in his hand. Unfortunately, the tickets are expensive for the next few weeks so we booked for Dec 15. I can’t even explain how I’m feeling right now. He’s coming! He’s coming! He’s coming!

December 15, 2018

What a nightmare! Adam’s flight to New York was delayed by 4 hours. When he finally arrived, he missed his connecting flight to Orlando. I’ve booked the earliest flight to Orlando but he’s going to have to sleep at the airport. I feel so bad for Adam. This is not the way he should be spending the first day in a new country. Hopefully, tomorrow doesn’t bring new surprises.

December 17, 2018

Adam is finally home. He arrived at 9 am yesterday but was exhausted from his trip. Finally, the entire process is over, he is finally here with me.

Summary

This year ended up with a happy ending for our scammed bride. Her year was difficult with the appeal process. The scammed bride continued to have issues with her husband. It seemed that our scammed bride keeps running into the same issues. Another sad point is that the scammed bride has let her relationship with her son deteriorate to the point where she doesn’t know what is happening in his life. The scammer always wants to separate his scammed bride from her support system. This way they can manipulate the scammed bride for their purpose. The scammed bride ended up happy at the end of the year. I feel that Adam and the scammed bride have two different ideas of life in America. This will be shown in the next post when our scammed bride tells us about her life living with her husband.