Our story with our scammed bride will continue today. Since 2015 our scammed bride has been in a relationship with a Moroccan man who has shown several red flags that she has refused to look at. Throughout the years our scammed bride communicated with this man through emails and messages. Despite him disappearing from time to time the scammed bride was determined to keep the relationship going. The scammed bride would use her savings, sometimes taking a second job just to visit the man in Morocco, ignoring the current financial situation at home. The scammed bride was warned by several people about continuing to have a relationship with this man because of the red flags. When these red flags are pointed out to her our scammed bride felt that she is the exception to the rule. The scammed bride would even see some behavior from him that she knew was a problem but would often ignore or brush it away thinking it was temporary. The scammed bride finally ended up marrying the man and started the sponsorship process of bringing him home. Her own government could see that something was wrong and denied her husband a visa to her country. The belief of the scammed bride is that her relationship is genuine is so strong that she fought against her own government to bring him home. Despite the evidence, the scammed bride won the case and was able to bring him home. We will now look into the first year of our scammed bride and husband living together.
January 1, 2019
First post of the new year! For the past 2 weeks, I haven’t had the time to write anything down because you know, I was busy. LOL! It’s been great having Adam here with me. Every morning, I wake up and he is there lying in the same bed as me and I feel young again. Adam even says that sometimes he feels like I am younger than him. I tell him that we waited too many years to get to this point so I have a lot of catching up to do. LOL. But it’s not just in the bedroom that’s great. Just being out with him holding hands has been wonderful. Over the last two weeks, I took him to all the big theme parks in Orlando. He’s so amazed at the theme parks and how massive they are. He says he wishes they would have at least one of these parks in Morocco. The day I took him to Epcot was a real treat for him. He got to visit the section for Morocco. He was so happy to see it. I know it’s only been two weeks but I can tell a part of him misses Morocco and his parents. Seeing the layout of the Moroccan section was just what he needed. He also met some of the employees working at that section and they were also Moroccan. I couldn’t tell what they were saying but he did take their numbers so I guess he has some new friends. I wish it was that easy for me to make friends, LOL. On Christmas, I took him to Mom’s home for Christmas dinner. He got to meet the family and everyone was happy to meet him. Boy, did they ask him a lot of questions? I had to jump on him and help him from time to time but he handled himself well. Unfortunately, he couldn’t eat the turkey or the ham because it wasn’t halal. I felt so bad about this because he explained this to me before. Especially since one of his new friends told him about the halal butcher shop where we bought our meat. I completely forgot to let my mom know. I’m not even sure if they have a halal turkey but we could have better prepared for this. He ended up eating the mashed potatoes and salad. New years were just spent at our home. He didn’t mind this at all since he and his family didn’t celebrate New Year’s Eve, I didn’t mind this either since it was years since I went to a New Year’s Eve party. I would rather spend my time with the love of my life, alone at home. Tim hasn’t met Adam yet. He’s living on campus and was working on a big project so he couldn’t make it home this year. He did say that his project would be done soon and he would come home maybe next week to meet Adam. Well, I need to do some house cleaning and prepare for work. It’s been the best two weeks of my life but I’ve spent so much money with the theme parks and everything else we’ve done, I’m back in debt. The good thing is that I don’t have to save any money for Morocco anymore and with Adam here, he can get a job and help with some of these expenses.
January 21, 2019
Well, the honeymoon phase is over. It’s been exactly 3 weeks and things have changed considerably. Adam is becoming withdrawn and it hitting me hard. I always knew Adam would never be able to keep up the romantic pace he was at when he landed. Heck, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep that pace but I never thought things would drop this badly. My feeling is that he is extremely homesick. I guess it started during the first week of January. I took some time off of work to help Adam set up his social security card. After this day things. Looking back, it might have been the realization that getting the card meant he had to look for work now. Maybe this realization scared Adam. I thought he was ok because that same evening he made some calls to what I assume were his new friends he met at Epcot. I was hoping he was trying to get a job with the guys at Epcot but nothing has happened yet. His friends started to pick him up a few nights in the week. He said he is going to the mosque. He would usually leave by 6 pm and come home we’ll after 12am. I know spirituality is important but some days especially on the weekends after a long, hard week at work, I want to spend some romantic time with my husband.
January 26, 2019
It’s taken years to try to live together. We would speak about how perfect our lives would be when that day would finally come. I sacrificed so much, mentally and financially to make this dream come true. The day arrives and we are finally together and he acts like this. Well, tonight he was getting ready to leave and I just said enough is enough. We need to have a talk. He confessed that he misses his country, his friends, and his family. He says he even misses the cafe he would sit at every day. He says these friends are his only connection to his home. He assured me he loves me and will return back to normal but needed this time for himself. He then kissed me and left to be with his friends. I understand him being homesick. If I moved to Morocco and met some American friends there I would probably want to see them as often as possible too. Still, I feel very lonely and this was not how I wanted to spend my weekends.
February 10, 2019
I’m wondering if there are any people who are going through the same thing as me. I know there are some online groups of women who have married Moroccan men but there is always someone who finds themselves in that group and is determined to harass people claiming that we are in a scam relationship. I dealt with enough of that with the whole sponsorship ordeal. I wish I knew how much time Adam needs before he returns to normal. Valentine’s Day will be in 4 days. I don’t think I will be able to take it if I have to spend another Valentine’s Day alone.
Mar 10, 2019
Things are getting better with me and Adam. He actually came back to his loving self a few days before Valentine’s Day. We went out for dinner and spent some time at Universal city walk. After that, he started talking and being close to me. He still goes out to the mosque with his friends but it’s mostly once a week now and he chooses Wednesdays as his “time with the boys”, instead of the entire weekend. He will go out with them on the weekends every month or so but it’s so infrequent, it’s not a big deal at all. We had a talk about his work and he said it would be better if he took some English classes so he could get a better job. I agree with him. It’s going to be a sacrifice but a better job would be beneficial for us in the long run. So now when I go to work, he is off to school. I’ll be home by 5:30 and he is home around 6 pm. I think the classes are helping his emotional state as well. He must have really felt lonely in January when I left for work and he was stuck in this home alone until I came home. No wonder he wanted to see his friends 3-4 times a week. He is also taking driving lessons. He says if he gets his license he could drop me to work instead of paying for monthly parking. Once again, it’s more sacrifices but saving the money on monthly parking will pay off. And of course, Adam met Tim yesterday. He came by for the start of his spring break and we had a nice dinner together. They spoke and were very friendly together but I guess Tim wanted to talk to me more which I totally understand. After all, I am his mother. His stay was very short as he left this morning. He and his friends are going to Palm Springs for the week. It may not be like the honeymoon phase but life feels pretty darn good.
April 13, 2019
It’s been a month since I wrote my last entry. I wish I could say everything is great and my life is perfect. Tim called me today to tell me that he is not staying on campus and decided to rent an apartment with his friends. He said the decision was because he was able to land an internship job at an engineering company. The amount of money he made would more than pay for his tuition and with his part-time job, he would be able to handle the expenses. Even though I wanted him to come home, I have to accept his decision. At least he is doing better than us financially. As money is getting tight and we need to start paying some of this debt off. Adam is trying to look for some part-time work to help but he hasn’t had any luck. Last week he had another interview where they didn’t offer him the job. He’s been on quite a few interviews and it’s really starting to bring him down. All of this is understandable but what I don’t understand is why he is blaming me. He says my lifestyle has made it impossible for him to find work. I then reminded him of his situation in Morocco moving from job to job. That got him angry and we started fighting. I then told him that he was once a professor and he should try to focus on getting a job as a teacher. I don’t really know what I said but that made him lose his top. I started shouting and cursing, telling myself I knew nothing about anything and that America is just a fast-paced country that only benefits the whites. To be honest, I was more confused than anything else. Is he trying to say I’m racist? If so, why would a marry a brown guy? He left the house that day and I found him the next day sleeping in Tim’s old room. So for the past week, I leave in the mornings seeing him sleeping in Tim’s room. When I come home he is nowhere to be found. I understand he is upset but blaming everyone and everything isn’t going to help him. Then today being Saturday I supposed he couldn’t avoid me like he does during the week, he saw me in the kitchen. As he was getting food, he managed to say how he was disappointed in how our relationship was progressing and then took his food to Tim’s room. I guess he will stay there until his friends pick him up. Honestly, I’m not even angry. I know how frustrated he is not being able to help. He just needs to find better ways at handling his anger.
April 20, 2019
I wanted to write as soon as this happened but then I thought, maybe let’s wait a week and see what happens. Suffice it to say, nothing happened. To recap, Adam wasn’t getting any luck in a long string of interviews. He was frustrated and started blaming me for everything. Well, two days later he got a call from one of the interviewers telling him that he got the job. It’s a job at Publix unloading food from the trucks. The money isn’t great but anything helps.
April 30, 2019
As soon as things get better, they get worse. Our relationship is returning to what it was but now we are running into more money problems. My car mechanic has told me that I need to replace many parts of my car. The total is going to be close to $4000. I would have just dump the cost to my cards and deal with it later but my cards are maxed out. What’s worse is that I checked how much it would cost me to add Adam to the insurance policy and it’s going to cost another $300 a month. I know eventually Adam will have a steady well-paying job but right now we need to figure out have to clear the $17000 debt. Adding $300 dollars a month is going to be more than we can afford.
May 3, 2019
Looks like we are in a better situation than a few days ago. I spoke to Adam about the situation we are currently in. He was able to arrange for the car to be serviced by his friend’s mechanic. The cost will still be $4000 but I can pay him when I have money available in installments or a lump sum. As for the insurance, Adam said don’t bother putting him on the insurance for now. He said just picking me up and dropping me off was worth $300 a month and he could just use the car with only my insurance until the money is available. Although I do feel he should have his own insurance, I suppose he could use it to drop me off and pick me up. He didn’t mention the $17000 debt on my cards but I suppose this is the best he can do in a few days. Ramadan is coming up really soon and he will be busy for the entire month. I can bug him after.
May 12, 2019
Ramadan started a week ago. Although I’m not Muslim, I still pictured this month with Adam being more spiritual and wanting to be close to me. Even if it was to try to get me to participate in fasting or eating with him. Instead, he has almost completely ignored me. When he returns home he sits in Tim’s room with the door closed. He then leaves with his friends around an hour before sunset to go to the mosque. He claims he breaks his fast there, prays, and then eats there. After this, he chats with his friends for a while and then performs the night prayers and special Ramadan night prayers. By the time he gets home, I’m already asleep so I’ve hardly spoken with him for the past week. I’m not exactly sure if he is telling me the truth and I feel that he is hiding something.
May 18, 2019
Last week I mentioned that I felt that Adam was hiding something. I was right. Ok, I know I left the part out that I thought he was making up the whole Ramadan schedule. Let’s say I was half right. At work, I asked Fatima in IT, about the ritual of men going to the mosque, praying, eating, and praying again. She said it was normal, especially for immigrant men who were used to the entire town fasting and eating at the same time. She said that Muslims due these special prayers after their night prayers. I forgot the name of the prayer but it was so long because they recite the entire Quran during the month of Ramadan. I honestly feel bad for doubting Adam. I know I should trust him but he should still eat at home. If it’s special Ramadan dishes, I’ll find the recipe and make them myself. Now for the part that I was right about. I confronted Adam the other day just as he was getting ready to leave and asked him what was wrong. After several attempts of prodding the information out of him, he finally confessed that he would rather be in Morocco with his family and friends. Because he is in a new country, Ramadan feels different and this is making him feel depressed.
June 15, 2019
I was hoping after Ramadan, Adam would snap back to the person I fell in love with. All he does these days is go to his English classes come home eat, and leave for his job at night. And forget about talking to me, he doesn’t even make the effort at looking at me. Since Ramadan, he has stayed in Tim’s old room. I thought he would return to our bed but he keeps sleeping there. It’s like we are two strangers sharing a home. He got the car fixed but when he brought the car home he said to give him the money whenever I get some extra money. I thought this is why he took the job at night. Also, we haven’t even had the opportunity to talk about the $17000 debt.
June 22, 2019
This week I finally snapped at Adam. We ended up having a huge argument. After almost 2 months of silence, I cornered him and asked what we would do about these debts. He started complaining that it was not his responsibility for the debts. I told him that we agreed that he would help to pay off the debts. He said that he didn’t remember saying this and he didn’t feel that he needed to help. I started yelling at him that these debts were his fault because of all the times I had to visit him and pay fees just to bring him to the country. He then started talking about how America is so corrupt and the banking system is meant to keep you poor. He said all of us are like slaves. I have no idea what America being corrupt has to do with keeping its promise and helping me pay off the debts. I think I struck a chord with him after that as I said that at least in America a professor wouldn’t lose his job and end up working meaningless jobs for next to nothing. He exploded after that and started cursing and yelling. He took a cup and threw it at a wall before leaving the home. I might have gone too far but I’m in some serious trouble and he doesn’t even seem to care. The worst part about all of this is this was maybe the only communication we have had in almost 2 months.
July 6, 2019
It was two weeks since we had that huge fight. I was thinking that we would spend our lives living in the same home never speaking to each other again. Then yesterday, Adam knocked on the door. It was maybe around 12:30 am so as soon as he got home from work, he came looking to talk to me. He sat on the bed and we must have spoken for almost the entire night. He explained the reason he couldn’t help was because he wanted to send money to his family. I told him, I honestly don’t have a problem with him helping his family but as I told him, he needs to help me too. He agreed and offered to give me $50 a month towards the debt. I also apologized to him for insulting him about losing his job and having to take small jobs. He then told me that since coming to America, it’s been a very hard adjustment for him. He explained that ever since the beginning of the year, he’s been depressed. He admitted that he was trying to hide his depression but he’s never been away from his family this long, especially his mother. Through talking with him I really understood a lot of the problems. Sometimes we get so swept up in our own problems that we can’t see the suffering of other people. And I should of know that when he becomes depressed he isolates himself. He did this often in Morocco when he would disappear for a month. I told him that we are married now and we need to make time for each other. He said he would try.
July 20, 2019
I was just thinking about the times that Adam would spend picturing our lives together. Whether it was online, on a beach, or in a villa, we would spend hours talking about our lives and the exciting things we would do together. One time on a beach in Agadir, Adam mentioned that he wanted us to take a road trip up to New York City. Another time he was saying that we actually planned out our summer vacations for the next 10 years. I remember him assuring me that money would not be a problem. Even telling me that we would have multiple homes in different countries. Looking at the state that we live in, those dreams will never become a reality. Our debts are too big. Imagine a 52-year-old thinking life was so simple. Those dreams are something a 16-year-old believes is true. I’m such an idiot. We are not going to take road trips or go to different countries or even have homes in different countries. We don’t even have each other as a reasonable compromise. With Adam in English classes and working, he has no time. I barely see him. He is trying to make more time for me but speak with him less now than when he was halfway around the world. The few moments within that I do see him, I put on a happy face to let him know everything is good but the truth is that I’m dying inside. I would never tell him this because I know he loves me and is doing everything he can to try to make everything work but I’m really lonely right now. I think I need to stop to cry.
August 3, 2019
I feel that Adam wishes that I could become a Muslim. During the times he attends the mosque (now every Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday) he is usually so happy getting ready and leaving. I started thinking that being Muslim would bring a connection to us. I’m not ready to be a Muslim but one day I asked him. At first, he said it didn’t matter to him but as we continue speaking, he spoke so highly of Muslim women. He basically compared American girls and Muslim girls and it seemed that we ugly, stupid, evil American girls weren’t even on their level. I get it, he is attracted to Muslim girls. I wish I could snap my fingers and become Muslim. To be honest, I have absolutely nothing against Muslim people. I agree with Adam that Muslims have a bad image because of the media. Every Muslim I have met has been an absolutely wonderful person. But the question keeps popping up in my mind. Why did he marry me? Why did he tell me that he didn’t care that I wasn’t a Muslim? Why did he tell me that he would never be happy if we separated and he was with a Muslim girl? Why does he say he loves me? Actually, I shouldn’t include the last question. I can’t remember the last time Adam told me that he loves me. I know that I’m letting my mind go amuck. Of course, he loves me and wanted to marry me but it’s obvious that he is attracted to Muslim girls. I wonder how much time it will take him to get over the fact that I’m not Muslim and return to his loving self. If he ever returns to that state.
August 17, 2019
I had a huge fight with Adam. I’m still fuming after the fight. Let me see if I can recap the entire story. So a few weeks ago, I was on my break. A lot of us at work are looking to lose weight and there is a cool program that has been set up. The program basically has us form groups and where pedometers. Our goal is to clock the most amount of steps. There isn’t a prize or anything like that but with the increased activity, we should see some improvements. I try to get my steps in during my break and one of the girls on my team happened to join me. She isn’t a Moroccan but she is a Muslim girl. This day happened shortly after the time Adam showed that he was into Muslim girls. I honestly was trying to find out more about Muslim girls and try to validate Adam’s claims. I’m not sure how we came to this subject but we talked about going to the mosque. I guess I was feeling that Adam was seeing these wonderful women during his trips to the mosque and maybe that was why he increased his trips from once to three times a week. Then she told me the truth. People do go to the mosque but mostly to pray. There are 5 prayers a Muslim prays every day so the mosque will have 5 daily prayers. The prayers last at most 30 min and after the prayers, people will usually leave. I was shocked because Adam usually left for the mosque at 6 pm and sometimes wouldn’t come home until midnight. I asked her if it was normal to stay at the mosque from 6 pm to midnight. She said most people would leave after the prayers but they may have classes at the mosque which last several hours so it was possible. At first, I assumed Adam was going to classes at the mosque. But then why didn’t he just tell me that he was taking classes? Also, during Ramadan, Adam was praying a lot at home. After Ramadan, he didn’t pray at home at all. I just assumed he wasn’t religious outside of Ramadan. If this is so, why is he going to the mosque so often? If he is going to pray because he feels that is important, why isn’t he praying the morning or afternoon prayers at home? There were too many questions that needed to be answered and I wanted to find the answers myself. Adam doesn’t know but his phone (which I purchased for him in December) is trackable. So one Friday, when he went out I took an Uber and tracked him to his location. Just as I suspected he wasn’t at the mosque. He was actually at a Hookah cafe with his friends. I took a few pictures of him smoking with his friends and then went home, waiting for him. As you can imagine when he arrived home, I confronted him about where he went. He said he was at the mosque and that’s when I showed him the pictures. We then got into a huge fight. He tried to make an excuse that he was with his Muslim brothers so wherever they are is like a mosque. I started yelling at him and he tried yelling back. After a long time of fighting he tried leaving heading into Tim’s room. This time I followed him opened the door and started fighting again. He then started saying this is why Muslim girls will always be better than us American girls. I told him this is why American girls divorce these Muslim liars and get them deported back to the country they’ve been trying to flee. He didn’t like that last comment. He pushed me away, walked out of our home, and drove off (with my car). At this point, I don’t care if he comes back or not. He has left me feeling alone for more than 8 months, making me feel like he was the one who was suffering. All the talks about feeling depressed. Missing his country. ALL LIES! I don’t see how we get passed this. He has broken the trust that we once had.
August 24, 2019
So a week passed and I haven’t seen Adam. The day after our big fight, I saw my car in the parking lot so he did return the car but the idiot left the keys in the car. The past week, I just went to work and came home. It was actually less stressful with him not there. Then today, one of his friends rang the doorbell. When I answered he didn’t stay long and said he didn’t want to interfere in our marriage but he said that both of us needed to speak to each other. I told him that Adam walked out on me. He told me it was true but he said, he needed to leave because the argument was getting out of control. He asked if he was there as a mediator. I agreed so Adam is coming tomorrow to see if we can work through this. Adam’s friend is correct but why does Adam need his friend to tell him what he should be doing himself? It’s so immature.
September 21, 2019
So I know it’s been a bit since I last wrote here but things have gotten better. I had the big meeting with Adam a few weeks back and his friend was there as a mediator. I have to admit, it was good that he was there because had it just been me and Adam, I would have had nothing to say to him. We had a long discussion about what had happened. Adam did admit that he was wrong in lying to me about going to the mosque. As we talked, it was discovered that the issue both me and Adam have is not him going out with his friends. It’s more about him giving time for me. His friend was right. The main issue is the time together. I think that Adam didn’t realize this. What I discovered was Adam was really homesick and was trying to fix that by keeping himself so busy that he didn’t have time to think. Once me and Adam were talking to each other instead of his friend, his friend left and we kept on talking. I found that I made some mistakes too. Adam did try to make time for me before but I would come home tired, eat dinner with him and sit in front of the TV, complaining to him about work, the debts, and anything else I could think of. This wasn’t exactly quality time together. He reminded me that in the first 2 weeks, there was no complaining. We were just happy to be with each other and made the moments special. I told him that we can’t afford to go theme parks every week and he said he didn’t care about those. We could just walk around the block after dinner and this would be enough for him. He told me that he loves me very much and wants to make this relationship work. That night he slept in our room for the first time in I don’t know how long. Well, he slept for part of the night. LOL. Everything feels good right now. We still have financial problems which we will discuss but after dinner, we will try to go for a walk and just talk about good things. Mostly it’s reminiscing about the past but hopefully, we can make some present and future memories we can look back at. He still goes out with his friends but since he is giving me more time, I feel ok about it. I still don’t like that he lied to me and he has apologized for this but it may take some time until I fully trust him again.
September 28, 2019
Well, I had another fight with Adam again. This time was about the clothes that I wear. When we were walking around after dinner, he said that he thought the clothes that I wear are too revealing. I told him this is Florida, the weather is hot most of the year and it’s difficult to wear clothes that cover your entire body. His argument was that his mother and sister have no problem wearing these clothes during the hot times in Morocco. I know deep down inside he wants me to become a Muslim. I told him that I wasn’t going to be a Muslim. He kept quiet for the rest of the walk home. I told him that he needed to accept me for who I was. He didn’t say anything, he just got ready for work and left. Things were going so well, I don’t know why he had to bring this up in our walks. And I thought we weren’t going to bring up negative things? It feels like all the work we did to repair the relationship was for nothing and we are back where we started.
October 5, 2019
Adam told me a few days ago that he needs to go back to Morocco for a few weeks. He said that his Mom has some health problems and he needs to go back to see her. I found it very coincidental that she fell ill when we had our little disagreement about clothing. I asked him how we could afford it and he told me that his boss is giving him some extra shifts at work. I also asked him about his English course and he said that he could take a break from that any time. He says he will leave in 2 weeks. I hate saying this but I want him to stay so we can repair our relationship. I do feel bad for his mom because she is such a sweet woman but she has her husband, her son, and her daughter there to help her. I see him speaking with his family all the time so it’s not like he has no contact with them. Also, these extra shifts he is taking would come in handy for the debt. Of course, I can’t say anything because that would make me a terrible person but we are just beginning on repairing the relationship. We need to be together right now.
October 18, 2019
Adam will leave tomorrow for Morocco. He returned from work and is asleep right here beside me. We had a nice talk when he came home. I told him I’m going to miss him and he said that he would miss me too. He felt a part of him wanted to stay but he is worried about his mother. He also thinks that this trip may help our relationship because the time apart will allow us to remember the positive things in our relationship. Maybe he is right. I just know looking at him lying here, the agony I felt for the past 4 years. Yearning for Adam to be here. This year has been a dream come true. Even though our relationship had its ups and downs, we do love each other. My only fear is if he ends up stuck in Morocco and we have to go through another 4 years. He told me he would contact me when he had free time. I guess that’s what I will be looking forward to for the next few weeks.
November 7, 2019
Well, it’s my birthday. 53 years old and alone once again. I haven’t heard from Adam since he arrived in Morocco. I’m guessing he is busy with his family. The highlight of my birthday was going to a debt specialist at lunch to discuss my options to get out of this sinking hole. They did give me the plan to remove the debt by consolidating all my cards into a bank loan and just paying off the loan. This work as I will pay less interest every month but 19,000 is a lot of money. The load specialist told me that I should try to pay as much money as I can to pay off the debt but I would need to pay $900 a month to be debt free in 2 years. I have no idea how I would be able to do that. Adam’s $50 a month won’t even make a dent into that debt. She told me that I was not allowed to use my credit cards until half of the debt was paid, otherwise, she would cut my cards in front of me. She would meet me next month so we could create a budget for how I should be using my money. But the real issue I have is that Adam hasn’t tried to contact me. I know he’s busy but it’s my birthday. A simple message would be enough. He can’t be that busy to forget me on this day.
December 6, 2019
The past month has been a blur. At work, they were offering overtime and I took as much as I could. I worked 6 days a week and around 10 hours each day. I made exactly $900 in extra money which went directly into the loan. It felt great to make the money for the first payment but there is no way that I can do that again. I may need to find a part-time job. I met with the debt specialist a few days ago. She was impressed that I paid the full $900 and encouraged me to continue paying every month. She then presented two pie charts. One was what I was currently spending money on and the other one is what I should be using my money on. I was surprised at the amount of money I spent on food and entertainment. I didn’t realize fast food adds up. With the entertainment, I didn’t know that covered Netflix, HBO, and other subscriptions. I still have gaming subscriptions for Tim that he probably doesn’t use anymore. The next job for this month is to cut entertainment by 40% and fast food by 60%. I’ve been lazy this year and have been spending a lot on fast food. I’m going to have to start buying groceries and cooking more. The entertainment I thought would be tough. Me and Adam don’t go to fancy operas or ballets. Most of the entertainment budget is cable tv and other subscriptions. Adam finally contacted me. And the best part was it was a call and not a text. It was yesterday right when I got home from work. The overtime work ended in November so I guess he knew the time I would be home. It was great hearing his voice again. He said he was really busy with his Mom. He didn’t know how to explain the issue but I think she had some ailments due to some weight gain. She had to change her diet, go to physio for her knee and start to do some more exercise. Adam was walking with his mom every day and took her to all her appointments. He said with the running around he did kept him busy for the entire time. He said that he wanted to stay longer but he missed me and was coming home sometime next week. I told him about the debt specialist and how she is helping us get debt free. I told him about cutting the fast food and entertainment expenses. He was fully supportive of this. He said since coming back to Morocco, he has missed home-cooked food and was going to tell me that we should cook more meals at home. For entertainment, he thinks we can reduce it to almost 0%. He says when he comes back, he will speak to someone he knows to purchase a box. This box has all the Netflix, HBO, and Amazon Prime programs plus all the channels including the Arabic channel. He said that the box would cost around $150 and the subscription would be around $120 a year. I told him that I couldn’t afford to pay $270 in total and he said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of the expenses”. While I’m happy he is willing to help and will take care of the expenses of the box, I’m a little skeptical of the whole setup. $120 is almost how much I pay for cable and internet. Per month. He is saying I’ll get all the subscriptions plus all the cable channels for $120 per year. I guess I’ll let him purchase the box and if it works I can then start canceling subscriptions. I’m just happy that he is returning soon.
December 17, 2019
So Adam arrived a few days ago. He was really happy to see me. These past 2 days have been great. Since the focus of this year was to try to reduce the debt, I’ve decided to use my vacation by just staying home. It’s not as fancy as going somewhere nice but with Adam, we spent some quality time together. LOL. I didn’t know this but he quit his job a Publix. He said that the pay was really low and it was too difficult to work until midnight even if it was a few days in the week. He would try to find another job during the day. The day after he arrived he went to get the box. I didn’t realize but we need the internet for this box to work. Once he set it up, I saw that it had everything on it. All the Netflix, HBO, Amazon, and Disney programs were on it. It had all the US channels and channels from other countries as well, including Morocco. Now Adam can keep up with the Arab news and sports. On top of that, this box had movies as well. When I say movies, I mean new movies. I watched Gemini Man on it yesterday and that movie is still playing at the theatre. The quality is great too. After that, I started canceling all my memberships. I think Adam was right about the vacation being good for both of us. Since he returned, the debt is being reduced, we are getting on track with the budget and our relationship feels stronger than it has been in months. We just got back from a night out on the town. I know that I’m supposed to be reducing but Adam reminded me that the money I saved from canceling my memberships and cable just for this month would cover a night out. We ate at this fancy seafood restaurant. I think I must have gained 20 pounds with all the food I ate. We then went to the city walk and walked around in the evening. Tonight gave me memories of visiting Adam in Morocco. It reminded me of why I love this man so much. It’s been exactly ONE YEAR since my husband landed in America. We were able to get past the adjustments of living together and make it through stronger than ever. What a year it has been. Hoping next brings us even more joy and bliss!
Summary
It’s been a tumultuous journey for our scammed bride. The reality of life hit the scammed bride really hard. Our scammed bride found herself in financial problems. The debts of the scammed bride were starting to give her stress and although she doesn’t mention it, the scammed bride was probably contacted by collection agencies. Although the scammed bride went through stress, her husband didn’t seem to be willing to help. Even when he did have a job, he was only willing to pay her $50 a month. I’m also assuming he didn’t help with the rest of the bills as well. I noticed that it didn’t take long for the husband of our scammed bride to separate himself from her bedroom. Another thing I thought was off was he started taking English classes. There was never mention of a school. What was also weird was that he would leave at the same time as our scammed bride and return after our scammed bride came home. If he was enrolled in a university, I could understand but she kept calling it an English class. To me, a class shouldn’t take more than 3 hours. The scammed bride obviously trusts her husband but to me, this man is either working or just hanging out with friends all day. Our scammed bride went through anguish of her husband separating himself from her but she felt guilty of these feelings because he was depressed. Although it is normal to feel homesick, he seemed to find solutions to resolve this (going out with friends, English classes, etc…). Even if he was still feeling depressed, I think the comfort you find in your partner should be the path your following, not isolating yourself just at home. The scammed bride finally followed her intuition and caught her husband lying. While I personally don’t see a problem with the husband of the scammed bride hanging out with friends, what I found interesting is that he was at a hookah cafe. Unless his friends were paying for him 3 times a week, he was paying for hookahs. Those hookahs usually are around $20 and doing the calculations that would be around $360 a month he was spending on hookah. This doesn’t even cover the tea or coffee, that people usually like to buy with the hookah. So if we round this up to $400, he was only giving the scammed bride $50, the minimum he was making was $450 a month. I personally think he could have offered some more money to our scammed bride and sacrificed a night or two at the hookah cafe. The scammed bride started to see some improvement at the end of the year when she took responsibility for her finances instead of relying on her husband. While this is what people should do when they are in trouble, I truly believe that the husband told the scammed bride that he would help her, even if she did not mention it. Our next post will be the last post of this story of the scammed bride and her husband. I have all the notes, I just need to type them up and publish them.