Our story picks up in 2017 where our scammed bride has returned home from her 5 week trip to Morocco, with the intention of marrying her Moroccan fiancé while in Morocco. Adam. If this is your first time seeing this story you really need to read the first two posts to catch up. You can access it here. This is the 3rd year of the relationship of our scammed bride. The first two years saw our scammed bride getting to know her boyfriend, with her accepting her boyfriend’s proposal in 2016. This year will focus on our scammed bride’s first year of marriage and the work of her trying to sponsor her husband. As with the first two years of our scammed bride’s relationship, this will not be an easy year for her.
January 7, 2016
Just returned home. What a hectic 5 weeks. I’m finally married to the love of my life but boy was it tough. I barely got to spend any romantic time with Adam and when I say barely, I literally mean 2 days. Once I arrived, I had a nice dinner with Adam and his family. The next day, his uncles and aunts arrived and they presented us with a cake and a little engagement party. It was so sweet of his family to do that. The rest of the week was spent traveling to Rabat, trying to acquire the documents required to get married. Thankfully there was this website that had a lot of information and helped me and Adam out a lot. The rest of my time was spent in Marrakech going from building to building, either translating my documents or acquiring more paperwork needed for the marriage. After the family court, police station, and other government buildings I can’t remember we finally get to go to the Adul. He is the guy who signs the marriage certificate and that’s it. You’re married. It’s a bit underwhelming after going through this 5-week process, just to get a signed paper. I shouldn’t forget the bribes that need to be given in order to get the work done within 5 weeks. Adam even told me that there are signs in Arabic that state that bribery is not allowed but it’s still done. LOL. Imagine if America had to follow the same process as Morocco. I don’t think anyone would get married, LOL. Well, after all, that I did get to “share” the room with Adam and as Adam says, have relations, LOL. I wish I could have had more of those romantic moments with Adam. I guess that will be for the next vacation. Now I’m going to have to start the paperwork to get Adam sponsored and bring him over here. If I’m being honest, I haven’t even looked at this but I can’t imagine it being more difficult than what I had to for the past 5 weeks.
January 9, 2017
OMG, this sponsorship document is so big and requires so much additional information. On top of that, the entire thing will cost $1200. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to afford to pay the fees. The temp job I was working at, had to cut back on staff and unfortunately, I was the one they cut. With my current job, I will not be able to afford to pay $1200. It seems every time I jump over a hurdle, there is another even bigger hurdle. I asked Adam if he was able to help with the money and his reply was as usual, “He is working only temporary jobs and the salary is not enough to help”. Tim is working part-time but he is saving most of his money for college and I wouldn’t dare ask him to help me. Adam suggested that we should wait until I am able to afford the fees. I sort of snapped at him after he said that. Really, I don’t think I was wrong either. I don’t want to wait anymore. I have had a relationship with Adam for more than 2 years. I know some people are ok with a long-distance relationship but there is only so long that I can be away from my HUSBAND. I’ve paid my dues and I deserve to be with my husband.
February 4, 2017
It’s been a few weeks but things have been getting back on track. I spent an entire week filling out the document and submitted it on Jan 15. Regarding the fees, I found out that I didn’t have to pay the full amount and I could pay for a portion now and the rest just before Adam gets his green card. Thank God for that but even with the partial payment, I had to max out my credit card. I was hoping to use my credit card to purchase my next ticket to Morocco later in the year. Adam then pointed out that it may be better to not take another trip to Morocco, especially if he might be coming here later in the year. I miss him like crazy but he is right. The money to travel to Morocco would be a waste if Adam ends up getting his green card. Last night we spoke about our future when he is here. He is telling me that once he gets a job we will be taking mini-vacations every week, LOL. It was sweet. I didn’t have the heart to tell him his dreams are not realistic. For me, I’m looking forward to him working and helping out with the bills. He still has this notion that America has jobs that pay really well. Compared to Morocco this may be true but he doesn’t realize that things here are expensive compared to Morocco. I’ll have to let him know the reality within the next few months.
February 14, 2021
Once again it’s Valentine’s day and I’m all alone. Tim went out with his girlfriend tonight. I can’t believe it’s been 2 years for Tim and Shirly. I had my doubts about them but they have really shown growth in maturity over these past 2 years. Normally I wallow in my own self-pity on this day but this year I don’t feel too bad. Don’t get me wrong, I would rather have Adam here with me but knowing that his application is being processed fills me with the hope that he will be here by next year. Adam has been busy for the past 2 weeks working so I haven’t had a chance to speak with him daily. He is only available to speak on Sundays. Thank God Morocco has lifted that ban on internet calls. Hearing his voice is so much better than just chatting. In our weekly calls, I can hear how tired he is. I feel bad for him. I told him to hold on for just a little while. Once he is here, he should be able to get a steady job. Even if it doesn’t pay well, at least he will have regular hours and be able to rest.
March 3, 2017
I had a long conversation with Adam today. He said he had finished up with his job. He said that he really doesn’t want to keep working anymore as the work is very hard and the money is very little. I don’t blame him. We spoke for a long time about this and finally came to the agreement that I would send him some money every month. It’s just $200 a month and this amount will be enough to provide for him and his family until he gets his green card. He told me he feels so bad that he has to ask his wife to bail him out but I told him, we’re a team. We help each other. I don’t really care about keeping the money if my husband needs it. I’ll gladly help him out. He then told me that he knew that he chose the right woman to marry. He said even if we were a team, he promises to pay me every dollar I have ever given him plus more. I told him not to worry and think about my money or his money. We need to start thinking that money is our money. I could tell that the stress and worry were removed from his shoulders because his tone became more cheerful. The conversation became so pleasant and before he left he told me he loved me. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal. After all, he has been telling me he loved me for years but over the past few months, our conversations have been just focused on what we did for the day, what was the plan for tomorrow, and any news about the application. These small gestures are what I look forward to with Adam. It’s what I imagine our life will be like when we are together and to be honest, this is all that I need.
March, 10, 2017
OMG! OMG! OMG! I got an email saying that the application has been processed and is being transferred to Rabat for final processing. I can’t believe that it’s already halfway done. I called Adam from work to tell him and he said that he also received an email to do a medical test. Things are happening so fast. If they finished our application in 2 months here, maybe Adam will get his green card by May? I’m so excited right now. The only thing that is holding me back is that 1, I’m at work, and 2, I still need to figure out how to pay for the green card. I’m going to start looking for a part-time job tonight.
March 17, 2017
Well, I may have jumped the gun last week. I thought that the application would be processed in the same amount of time in Morocco as it was processed in America. It turns out that it takes a lot longer to complete the application once it’s in Morocco. Adam had an appointment to complete his medical exam today. They told him that they would electronically send his results to the embassy and he should get the results by early next week. Adam told me that the cost of the medical test was $120. I don’t mind helping Adam but sending him an additional $120 is going to make things tight this month. I hope that this is the last of the additional expenses.
March 21, 2017
Adam received an email saying that they have received his medical results. I guess his exam was ok because shortly after receiving the first email, he received another email saying that they would start processing his application. I’m happy things are moving along. I really hope that they complete the processing early so Adam can be here with me. I went to the doctor a few days ago and he insisted I increase my exercise. I decided to try a yoga class today. It was fun but I am really achy and sore today. I spoke to one of the women in my class. She told me that she was once 60 pounds overweight and lost it all when she started doing yoga. 60 pounds is a lot. I’m just hoping to lose half of that. If I can lose 30 pounds that would be great. Plus it would be a nice surprise for Adam when he arrives. LOL.
April 14, 2017
Oh, what a terrible day. Normally when I sit with the girls during our lunch break, I let them control the conversation. Well, today I decided to talk about Adam’s sponsorship process. I’ve told the girls about Adam before but I don’t really go into much detail about our relationship. Today, I decided to share some of the news. Talia decided to ask about all these details about Adam as if she was interrogating me. After her questions, she decided to tell me that Adam was “using me for a green card”. Then the other girls started jumping in saying that he is younger than me, he is a different religion than me, and he isn’t American which meant that he couldn’t be interested in me. After that, I had it and told each of them that they knew nothing about Adam and me. I asked them if they knew how long he pursued me before I gave in. They all saw his picture. He is a gorgeous man. If he wanted to, he could have any women he wanted. Hell, if he showed any interest in Talia and the rest of those crows, they would drop their husbands and boyfriends just for a chance with Adam. I’ve never seen women so jealous of another woman’s husband like this. It’s like I’m in a soap opera. I’m so tired of hearing the “Adam is younger than me” excuse. I’ve heard all of this on forums and this is why I stopped chatting with people on the internet. None of them know the connection I have with Adam. They think that in order to marry you need to be the same age, the same culture, and the same religion as your spouse. How ridiculous is that! If they only knew I was married to someone of the same religion, the same culture, and only 3 years older than me and we had a terrible marriage. After I had it out with the girls, I just went back to work and didn’t say a single word to any of them. I must have taken more calls in the afternoon than I have taken in entire days. I’m glad it’s Friday and I won’t have to see them for 2 days but it’s going to be weird going to work on Monday and seeing them.
April 17, 2017
This should be short but just wanted to write about what happened today. The girls approached me in the morning and apologized. They said they were not trying to attack me but rather point out some things that are strange. Talia told me she meant to say that because of the red flags, my relationship looks like a scam. In all honesty, I may have overreacted with them. When I think about it they did say on Friday they were not trying to say Adam is a scammer but it looked peculiar that a younger man wanted to get married to an older woman. I let them know that everything they were concerned about was something that concerned me too. That’s why I took so long to marry Adam. I talked to Adam about this numerous times. Every single time, he’s told me that he wants to be with me. He finds that we have that deep connection that he hasn’t found in any other girl. The heart wants what it wants. If a gorgeous man is madly in love with me and I’m in love with him, who are we to stop this love because of superficial qualities like age or culture. In the end, I’ve made up with the girls. At lunch, they actually talked about my relationship but gave me encouragement with the sponsorship process.
May 17, 2017
It’s been a month since I last wrote something and it’s because there is literally nothing to talk about. I think the last time I wrote was the kerfuffle with the girls at work. Things are back to normal with us but this wait for Adam to get his green card is killing me. It’s been a few months and we heard nothing. I know they say it takes a while but I thought we would get some updates on our application. I really miss Adam. I spoke to him earlier today. He said he feels the same way and has been really feeling depressed because of this. I’m really considering visiting him. Right now, taking a trip to Morocco will put me in debt but I can’t stand this waiting in limbo. I need to be with my husband.
May 24, 2017
So we decided that it would not be good if I traveled to Morocco. Adam reminded me that the money that I would spend to buy the ticket to Morocco should be used to buy a ticket for Adam when he gets his green card. As much as I hate waiting for him, he is right. We shouldn’t be wasting money and putting ourselves under financial stress. I do wish that he would contribute more financially. After all, I’m the one who is taking care of my son and paying all the bills. I spoke to him about this and I’m convinced that if my husband was working a full-time job and I was the one who struggled to try to find work, he would be the one supporting me. He’s told me over and over again, how he feels embarrassed that he has had to ask me for money several times and assured me that he would pay me back every penny once he is in America. What is worst is that he said that his religious holiday Ramadan is going to start in a few days so he won’t be able to speak to me much for the next month! This is going to be rough
July 5, 2017
It’s been a few months now and the wait is unbearable. Every day I check online for any updates on our application and the status is the same, in progress. About a month ago, I was fed up. I decided to email the embassy asking them for an update. They never responded to me. I’m still waiting for the response. I asked Adam to send an email asking for a status update. He sent an email 2 weeks ago and they responded after a week. The response said that the application is in progress and we should keep our correspondence to a minimum. Can you believe that? They took one week to respond to Adam to tell him that they do not have an update! Do they not realize how difficult for couples to be apart for so long? This is torture. The girls mentioned to me that I should get a lawyer to help out push the application forward. I took a look at the prices that the immigration lawyers are charging. $4000 dollars! That’s about the same price that I spend to travel to Morocco. In the last few weeks, it seems that all I and Adam speak about is the application and Adam seems to be the one who has to calm me down. He keeps telling me to have patience. Everything will happen soon, god willing. Really, I’m lucky that my husband is a rock. Without him calming me down, I may go to the embassy in Morocco and demand they complete our application. I guess I’ll listen to my husband and be patient, for now. Also after Ramadan, we started speaking daily again. He told me that he would try to video call once a week since I was missing him so much. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot and I would rather be in his arms than speaking but I do feel really good seeing him.
August 14, 2017
OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! My husband received a call from the embassy. He called me at 4 am in the morning and told me that a woman spoke to him and started asking him a lot of questions. She told him that she wanted him to come in for an interview and to bring some further proof. He didn’t understand what it meant but I told him to print some pictures of us, the phone logs, and our chat history even though we haven’t chatted for a while now. She also told him that we need to pay for the rest of the application. I think that after tomorrow, he is going to get his green card. This is why he was told to pay for the rest of the application. I can’t believe this day has finally come. After months of no updates, they finally called him. As soon as I finished speaking with Adam, I quickly paid for the rest of the application fees. My credit card is maxed out but I don’t care. I’ll just get another card to pay for Adams’s airfare. I’m in tears of joy right now. My husband will soon be with me!
August 15, 2017
My husband went to the embassy today. He had to wait for a while before they would see him. Once he was there they asked him to provide the proof which he did. They then told him that they were going to continue examining our file and would call him in about a month as to whether they accept him or not. I was confused after he told me this. Why did they ask us to pay for the remainder of the application if they did not accept him? What was even more strange was that they told him that if they accept him, they would tell him if he needed an interview or not. If you accept our application, why do you need to interview Adam? Why do they play these mind games? As if it was bad enough to leave us in silence for months, when you do call Adam to come, you tell us that you’re still working on our application. I know I mentioned how the lawyer fees were too much but I think I’m going to need to find a way of paying those fees. Enough is enough!
August 16, 2017
I am so lucky to have a husband like Adam. After yesterday, I was ready to call a lawyer. I just wanted to let Adam know what I was doing and tomorrow, I would have spoken with the lawyer. He reminded me that the lady he spoke with told him that they would let him know if they accepted him in a month. He told me we should wait until we know what the decision will be before spending money, especially money we don’t have. In all my rage, I didn’t realize that they told Adam that they would make a decision in a month. I really need to keep my emotions in check. This is such a stressful process and flying off the handle will only make things worst. Like Adam always tells me, I need to be patient.
September 4, 2017
The embassy called Adam. They want him to come in for an interview next week! I’m so nervous, I’m freaking out. Even Adam who is always the calm, cool, and collected type is nervous about this interview. I told him not to worry because we would be reviewing our entire relationship every single day until the day of the interview. The only problem is I don’t know what to review with Adam. I tried to act like it wasn’t going to be a big deal so that Adam’s confidence would increase but, in reality, I’m a mess and I don’t have a single idea of what to do.
September 9, 2017
I have been so busy this week that it feels like I am working two jobs. I found some questions on the internet that have been asked in these types of interviews and Adam and I have been spending several hours every day answering these questions. We have been spending around 5 hours every day going through each of these questions. We have gone through the entire list and tomorrow, I’ll do a mock interview with Adam. Even though Adam knows all the questions, there are 2 questions I think will be the focus. One of them is the age difference between us and the other is the different religions we practice. I think we prepared good answers for them. Also, I told him to give the immigration officer more pictures as additional proof. I’m still so nervous, even though I think Adam is ready and prepared. I really hope they see through any differences or “red flags” and see the love that Adam and I have for each other. I’m really tired of giving him kisses over my phone. I need to give kisses to his beautiful face. After tomorrow, will be his interview. I took the day off so I can be there when he finishes the interview and he can tell me the results. I’m hoping that my day will be filled with good news and me planning on buying plane tickets for him to come with us.
September 11, 2017
Adam just completed the interview. I’m not sure what to really think about his results. He told me he arrived at the embassy on time and they had him wait for about an hour before he was brought into the room to begin the interview. The interview lasted over 2 hours! I honestly don’t try to look up things on the internet much because of the cesspool of negativity that I will see, especially about me marrying a younger Moroccan man but I do remember reading something in the past that said that the interviews are usually less than an hour. I don’t know why Adam’s took so long. They asked all the questions that we reviewed and as we thought, they focused on the age difference and differences in religions. He said they also asked about him having kids and him having his wife as the breadwinner of the home. He told me that he provided good answers to the unseen questions. Adam told me he did stumble on one question. They asked him why he hasn’t looked for a Moroccan woman to marry and he didn’t know how to answer this. I told him that I asked him this question a few years ago and he was able to answer it but he said that he told them the answer he told me but they kept asking other questions about marrying Moroccan women but the questions were like statements such as Moroccan women speak the same language as him, Moroccan women have the same culture like him, Moroccan women cook Moroccan food. He told me that it felt like they were pressuring him to leave me and pursue a relationship with a Moroccan woman. I don’t like the fact that they were trying to convince him to leave me. This interview should be fair! He said that the immigration officer did not take the additional photos that he had which seems like a bad sign but they asked for his passport. Why did they ask for his passport? They returned the passport and said that they will send an email to him in a few weeks. I don’t really know what to think. Maybe the immigration officer realized the line of questioning about Adam pursuing a Moroccan woman was uncalled for and decided to approve the application. I guess we will hear in a few weeks. It’s back to the anxiety.
September 29, 2017
Application denied. My husband forwarded me the email this morning. Once I read the email I burst into tears. I had to call in sick to work today because I couldn’t stop crying. The email read that the immigration officer does not believe that our relationship is genuine because of the age difference and the difference in culture. My life is done. I cannot believe after everything we both went through, it’s now over. I have to give up on this marriage and Adam.
October 1, 2017
I finally spoke with Adam. I didn’t exactly speak with him but rather messaged him on WhatsApp. He told me that he too was in shock and couldn’t believe that he was denied as well. I told him that it wasn’t fair for me to keep holding him. The appeal could take years. I told him to leave me to find another woman. He is young enough to start over. He told me not to speak like this. I told him to look at the reality. He is a young man who can be with any woman in the entire world. He shouldn’t be tied down to an old woman. He said he would never love another woman in the world like me and he would stay married to me for the rest of his life. He said that he would give me space but he was here if I ever needed to talk to him. I understand he loves me and I love him so much but how could we live like this? It’s so much easier to say goodbye to the love of my life. I am so broken right now.
October 4, 2017
How is it possible that one person can decide to break all our hopes and dreams! I invested so much, I sacrificed so much, I worked too hard, I suffered too much, I endured so many things, to have one person swat it all away with one hand. I’ve been reading a lot of forums for people who have had denied applications. I found one woman who was denied in 2012. She said that they had to appeal and it took a year. She said that she has a 15 year age difference and this was the reason for their refusal. I was honestly in the state of mind of giving up on all of this but hearing that story helped put things in perspective. I still haven’t spoken to Adam. I just want to get through this depression before I speak to him again.
October 10, 2017
I received a video call from Adam today who said that he missed me too much to keep waiting for me. He brought his mother to speak with me. Obviously, I didn’t understand one word that she said but when Adam translated her words really had me thinking. She said, when you marry someone, you must keep the commitment no matter what. Marriage is not something you give up on when life becomes difficult. You ask God to make life easy for you and you keep working on the marriage. I have tremendous respect for Adam’s mother so her words are something that I greatly consider. I told Adam if we do this it may take a while before he gets the green card. Also, I’m going to need a lawyer who will cost a lot of money. He said for the wait, he’s willing to wait forever and for the lawyer, he will pay me back every penny when he is here with me. I’m going to look for a lawyer tomorrow. I feel that we were treated unfairly. I have a feeling that the immigration officer made her decision before even speaking with Adam.
October 14, 2017
I spoke to an immigration lawyer last Wednesday. He estimated that the entire appeal will cost around $4000. That’s going to be a big debt I have to take but if it helps bring Adam here then it will be worth it. The lawyer said that he is going to request the transcript of the interview. He said that it was wrong that the immigration officer tried to persuade Adam to leave me. We need to know what was exactly said in the interview. He also asked me to give him all the communications I have had with Adam over these past 2 years. I tried calling Adam but he isn’t answering me. He didn’t tell me that he started a new job. I’ll try to get a hold of him tomorrow.
October 21, 2017
It’s been a week and I still have not heard from Adam. This is really irritating. I don’t understand how he could tell me that he is willing to wait forever for me and then disappear. I’m still in depression over this denied application and need his support. Spouses should be there for each other. I can’t go through this all alone. He has another week. After that, I’m giving up on everything and ending this relationship. It’s not worth it.
October 25, 2017
Adam finally called. He said that the depression really hit him hard a few weeks ago. He said that he hadn’t been eating well and his mind felt empty. His friends took him away to another city to try to cheer him up. I told him that he should have told me. His response was that his friends literally took him and only snapped out of it a few days ago. I told him that I need him to be available and he can’t just disappear. He said that he was sorry and would tell me before leaving. I’m glad he has snapped out of his depression but I’m still angry at him. He has a lot of making up to do.
November 15, 2017
The lawyer received the transcript yesterday and I just reviewed it with him today. I am beyond mad at this point. I’m pissed. The transcript is filled with lies. Some of the lies were when she asked Adam why he loved me, he said that I was sweet, kind and I speak without an accent. How stupid is that? Adam told me that He explained to the officer that we have these deep conversations that he doesn’t have with others. She basically mixed it up. She then wrote that she asked why his wife would be in love with him and he answered because of my brown skin. Adam explained that it was the same deep conversations that we have and how when she is in Morocco, he treats me like a queen. He then said also she likes my looks, in which both of them laughed about that. She wrote about him answering that he liked that I didn’t smoke when she asked him about our different religions. He told me that he told her that he liked that our religions had similar values such as no smoking and no drinking but she once again switched it around. There are so many other examples in the transcript but the last one I want to point out is the question on the age difference. She wrote that he didn’t answer her which is a complete lie. I know that he answered because he told me that she kept trying to persuade him to find a younger girl in Morocco. How can government officials be so deceitful and evil? After filling the lawyer in, he too was in shock at the amount of misinformation presented in the transcript. We are going to call Adam on Friday to provide a full statement of everything that he answered in the interview.
November 17, 2017
Adam and I had a very good meeting with our lawyer. It lasted over 2 hours but we discovered something very interesting. The transcript was written six weeks after the interview! That is why the transcript is full of fabrications. It is totally the opposite of what Adam had answered. This leaves me wondering, what happened to the transcript? Did it get lost in the embassy? Did someone accidentally delete it? My suspicion is that she never wrote the transcript. She just decided to reject Adam no matter what he answered and didn’t bother to even complete the necessary paperwork until it was requested. According to our lawyer, she should have contacted Adam and asked him to come for a second interview. More and more, we are seeing how vile this immigration officer is. Talk about being unprofessional. She would have been fired from any other company and she probably thought that I would just give up. Well, honey, I ain’t going nowhere! GAME ON!
Summary
The scammed bride starts the beginning of the year on the highest of highs and then ends up at the lowest of lows. She spends the year focused on the sponsorship of her husband. The scammed bride does not bring up her as much as she did in the previous years. This could be the fact that he has his own life with his girlfriend and his other goals. I’m assuming he still lives at home but the scammed bride simply does not have the time for him. One of the things we should point out is that the scammed bride started to send money to her husband. She seems to quickly justify it even though it is a clear red flag and she should budgeting her money to sponsor her husband. We can see that the scammed bride gets irritated when her friends point out her husband using her for the green card. What this shows me is that the scammed bride is in denial and she doesn’t want to hear anything negative, even if it is coming from a point of view of the concern. When the application is rejected the scammed bride is almost at a point of acknowledging the red flags as she is ready to leave the relationship. She ends up being convinced easily by her husband and they are now at the point of appeal the rejected application. In the next year, we will see what happens with the appeal and how her life progresses with her Moroccan husband.