Our story with our scammed bride will conclude in this post. It’s been 5 years since our scammed bride started to speak with her now husband. Through the years, the scammed bride refuse to see the signs that pointed out that her husband was not the man that she had thought he was. In the beginning, the amount of attention he gave our scammed bride was enough to keep her interested. The very next year, his plans began to take shape. Through stories, he was able to get the scammed bride to send him money. The next year, our scammed bride married her husband but she found some bad news as his sponsorship was rejected. The following year , our scammed bride spent appealing the rejection decision and eventually won the appeal. We saw in the previous post her first year living with her husband. She found out that it wasn’t as she expected and actually caught him lying to her. As she usually did when she found a red flag, our scammed bride forgave her husband and continued with the relationship. In this post our scammed bride will enter the 2nd year, she has been living with her husband.
January 1, 2020
Another year has passed and we now enter 2020. These past 5 years with Adam have been a roller coaster. Even this past year has been wild. Despite the ups and downs, I love that man with all of my heart. I know it’s been a few weeks of events and I haven’t written anything down so let’s recap. Well the last entry, I spoke about Adam returning from Morocco and how he was helping to reduce the expenses. I took my vacation over the past few weeks as I didn’t use them for the entire year. I spent the time at home, trying my best to cook at home. I even tried making some Moroccan recipes. I didn’t think they were good but Adam said he liked it. We would go out on the weekends and I know we were supposed to be saving money but it’s the holidays. I have the entire year to try to make up for a few weeks of spending. Since Tim decided to rent an apartment with his friends last year. I don’t see much of him but he came for a few days for Christmas. It was nice seeing Tim again. The three of us went to Universal and had a great time. Christmas was spent at my parent’s house. This time, I bought the turkey and I made sure it was halal so Adam could eat more than just vegetables. Christmas was ok. It was nice to catch up with the family but Adam spent a lot of time outside on his phone. He told me it was because of work. Although I felt it was rude that he didn’t spend much time with my family, he did say it was for work. This is better than him working for next to nothing. He may be able to finally help me to get debt free. I still haven’t spoken to him about helping me with the debt. I find it so hard to ask him to help me. I’m not sure why.
January 11, 2020
Back to the grind, I’ve been so busy. Not just at work but coming home and cooking meals have me busy. It’s been good though. Adam comes home, eats with me, and then we watch tv together. He got me to watch a show called Cobra Kai. At first, I didn’t know what the heck I was watching and why. When he told me it was based on the Karate Kid movie, I had to admit I never saw the movie. I was 17 when the movie came out and I was really only into romance movies. I remember going with my friends and seeing Footloose and Sixteen Candles. The beauty of Adam’s box is that it has all the movies. Once he got me hooked on the show, we both watched the original movies (yeah there’s 3 movies). Well, Adam told me there are actually 4 movies but the 4th movie doesn’t count. Usually, we watch an episode and then Adam would go for a long walk. I stopped going with him on the walks because he walks for a very long time and he is always on his phone. I think it’s his friends because he speaks in his language. For me that’s boring. I just find some new movie and watch that until he comes back.
February 1, 2020
I don’t know why but around this time Adam gets very depressed and distant. It started happening around the middle of January. After work, he would just eat dinner by the tv and go for his 2-hour walk. He started sleeping in Tim’s room again. This time I didn’t let this go. After a few days, I confronted Adam and had a talk with him. He said he was getting depressed and very very homesick. Even though he was working (and not paying any bills), he said life in America is difficult and stressful. He says the pace is too fast. I reminded him that this is what he wanted. He said he knew that there were jobs here but he never realized that he would be working this much. He honestly thought he would work for several weeks and then take a vacation to Morocco for 2-3 weeks and come back and do that again. I think that would be like a 12-week vacation. I told him that I didn’t know anyone in America who took 12 weeks of vacation in a year. Even our VP only takes 5 weeks of vacation every year. I told him to try to keep working, he would eventually get used to it. Because of his depression, I’m not going to bother him about sleeping in Tim’s room. I’ll give him the time he needs.
February 15, 2020
I’m trying to stay strong for Adam. Really I am but him being depressed on Valentine’s Day is really tough. He didn’t want to do anything except go for his long walk and just lock himself in Tim’s room. It really sucks seeing all the romantic things couples are doing on Facebook and I’m doing none of that. I spent Valentine’s Day eating chocolates and watching movies. The other day I tried talking to him and this time he says he has not come to terms with the things he sees here in America. He says that things in America are against Islam. He brought up that women dress provocatively again. I didn’t bother arguing with him on that again. I just let him talk. I think me not being a Muslim is affecting him. Sometimes I think I should just give in but changing your religion is a serious decision and one you can’t change on a whim. Plus, I’m sure he doesn’t want me to be a Muslim when my heart is not in it. Right now he went out with his friends. I’m hoping spending time with his friends will cheer him up and get him out of this depression.
March 14, 2020
I just had a huge fight with Adam. I finally had it with him living here free. I told him that he needed to contribute to clearing out the debt. He actually had the nerve to tell me that it was not his problem. I lost it and gave him a piece of my mind. He deserved it. After all, a lot of that debt was due to the trips to Morocco, lawyer fees to bring him here, not to mention me having to send him money for those few years he was in Morocco. He tried to tell me that he helped me by getting the box for me. First of all, the box is for both of us as we both use it. I’ve seen him watching soccer on it. Second, the debt is still there and that’s what we need to get rid of. He then started making excuses that he couldn’t help because the debt has interest on it and this was against Islam. He left with his friends before we could finish the fight. We’ve been married for 2 years but it seems like I’m the only one in this marriage.
March 28, 2020
Before I begin I should talk about this coronavirus thing. I would have mentioned this in my last entry but Adam had me so angry, I completely forgot. Well after they declared the emergency 2 weeks ago, our company sent all of us home. None of us are really working but luckily we are getting paid. My supervisor said we should be getting some information next week. I’m hoping we get some good news. My job may be the only thing I have in my life. Now let’s get to Adam. Since last year Adam has told me that he only worked part-time at Publix. The rest of his time he claimed that he was in “English classes”. I guess he didn’t realize that W2 forms are sent every year. I was expecting a W2 form for his work with Publix but when I saw 2 W2 forms that surprised me. I opened the letter and saw the W2 form for the job Adam didn’t tell me about. What’s even better is the amount of money he made with this job. $40, 000! He made $40,000 m$%$%$% f%$#%#%# dollars! This is more than double my debt. I could have been debt free since last year but you know I don’t even care about the money. I really don’t. It’s the fact that Adam lied to me, again. I would rather go broke with Adam as long as he is honest with me. I haven’t spoken to him because I just saw his W2 forms after he left to go out with his friends. I can’t believe he would lie to me again. I can’t believe he had this money and didn’t even want to help when he saw me struggling. I have given him so much since the day he landed in America. He has not spent a penny on any of the expenses. He has basically been saving money on my back. I’m going to confront him as soon as he gets home. It’s not going to be pretty but I’m determined that he pays my debt off by tomorrow. I won’t accept any other compromise.
March 29, 2020
I’m at a loss for words. I confronted Adam when he came home. Normally I just go to sleep before he comes home. I didn’t realize he was coming home at 2 am. As I assumed he denied having this job at first. Why should I be surprised? He’s basically lied throughout the time he came here. I then showed him the W2 forms which he didn’t understand what they were. Once he realized that the W2 forms were basically proof, he stopped arguing but acted like it wasn’t a big deal. I told him that we can pay off the debt. His response was that he wasn’t going to use his money to pay something that uses interest. Then in the middle of the argument he just walked to Tim’s room. Well, I just followed him and reminded him of everything I did for him. He must have felt some sort of guilt because he kept quiet after this. I told him that he had to give me his money so I could pay his debt. His response was that the money was gone. He had sent all of it to his family and they used it. I told him that if he does not come clean with me, repent and repair what he did and accept to disclose things to me from now on, he would have to get out of my life. Then he gave me the biggest shock. He told me that he would then leave and divorce me. He said that he has been unhappy for a long time. I don’t even know how to process this. I left him after he said that because I didn’t know what else to say. I never once thought he would even think about divorce with me. Thinking about all the times, he told me he loves me and that his life would be miserable without me. This shocked me so badly, I don’t even have any emotions towards it. I guess I could say that I’m more confused than anything. I think I’ll need some time to process things because divorce was the last thing I thought would ever come out of Adam’s mouth.
April 11, 2020
Let’s get the quick stuff out of the way. I’m back at work. Well, it’s just for training on how to work remotely. Starting next week, I’ll be working from home. Now as for Adam, we still are not talking. Tim mentioned that he wanted to come by next week for the weekend but with Adam taking over Tim’s room, I’m not sure what to do. I’ll have to talk to Adam but right now I don’t want to speak to him. I wish he would just leave. To think that I’ve been sending this man money since 2016 for one reason or another. Now that he has money, he doesn’t want to help me. It is thanks to me he was able to send money to his family from time to time and to afford his trip to Morocco last year. To think that he is not even sorry for using me all these years is so disgusting. Even now, he eats and sleeps free while I’m the one who is responsible for all the bills.
April 19, 2020
Tim just left. I broke down when he left. I guess it was just having Tim at home was such a good feeling when he left, I realized the good times had come to an end. On the Thursday before Tim would arrive, I told Adam that he needed to leave Tim’s room because Tim was coming over for the weekend. These days, I really hate giving him credit but he was respectful and treated Tim well for the past few days. I ended up telling Tim what had happened between me and Adam. He was surprisingly mature about it. Sometimes I forget that Tim is an adult. He told me that if Adam wasn’t willing to help me with the bills and just live free in my home, I should try to get him deported. I never thought about it but it makes sense. Since Adam has been living with me, we don’t really act like a married couple. We have only been intimate a few times since he arrived in America. He doesn’t even stay in my room. It’s almost like we are roommates but the difference is I pay for everything. Adam has been wanting to come to America for so long. I think the threat of deportation would scare him straight and change his ways. I told Tim that I would talk to Adam about deportation but Tim insists that I talk to a lawyer. He says I need to follow this through with more than just an empty threat. He does make sense and I will speak with a lawyer but if he does change his ways, I can find it in my heart to forgive him. After all, all of us make mistakes. Adam made big mistakes but if he is willing to change and build back the love we once had, it would be cruel for me to turn away from that.
April 22, 2020
Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare! I met with the lawyer today. I was thinking that it would be as simple as filling out a few forms and immigration would come to my home and take Adam away. I wasn’t going to fill out the forms today but rather let Adam know the actions I would take because of how he used me over the years. Unfortunately, because I sponsored him, I’m responsible for him financially for 10 years! That means I have to keep supporting him until 2028! This means that even if I threatened him with deportation, he could easily go to a lawyer and find out I can’t really do anything. I asked the lawyer if there is anything I can do. He said that if I could get my marriage annulled, we could deport him. The problem with this is that I would have to prove that our marriage was not genuine. He was intimate with me even though it was a few times. The big issue the lawyer pointed out was that we had appealed a decision where immigration denied his sponsorship. Because we proved that our marriage was genuine, it would be very difficult to get a judge to annul the marriage. The lawyer said my only course of action would be to follow through and divorce Adam. I left the lawyer’s office feeling defeated. I’m not sure what I can do at this point. Right now Adam doesn’t have any incentive to change.
May 16, 2020
I feel empty inside. My life feels like it has no purpose. I see Adam leave every morning for work and return just to get his dinner, eat in front of the TV, and then go out either for his walk or out with his friends. Whatever love we had seems to have completely fizzled out. I keep asking myself what happened? Where did this intense love me and Adam had for each other go? I remember Adam telling me how he wanted to take care of me. We would talk about our future together and all the fun things we would do. The love we had seemed to be so strong and everlasting. Now we don’t even talk. I don’t think I can write anymore. I need to cry.
June 6, 2020
A few days ago, Adam came home at lunch. This was weird as he never comes home for lunch. I was on my lunch break eating and watching some tv. He came to talk to me which was another shock since he hasn’t spoken to me since April. He told me that he plans to go back to Morocco in September. He said that he will be there for 2 months and he might decide to live there. I didn’t know what to say. Once again I was shocked. The next day I was able to speak to him when he returned to work and we had a long conversation. It was really the first time we spoke in months (without yelling at each other). It was such a long conversation. He ended up staying home with me and not going out with his friends. He shared the frustration he has with the lifestyle in America. How everything felt like it was pulling him away from his religion. He said that he never wanted to cause me problems and wished he could give me the life I wanted. He thought that breaking the relationship may be the only thing that would make me happy. I told him that breaking things off was not the answer. I just needed someone to help me with the expenses. He is still adamant on the debt issue. I told him the money was not even the issue I had with him. It was the lies. He explained that the only reason for the lies is because he needs to help his parents. He just wants them to have enough money through their senior years. I told him that it was admirable that he was helping his parents but he needed to help his wife too. He said that he will take the time to think through things and also speak to the right people about the issues we have and about my reasonable demands and expectations. Although I do have a lot of resentment towards him, I think we are beginning to rebuild the relationship. I feel like progress is starting.
June 20, 2020
I feel like we are taking some baby steps to rebuild our relationship. Me and Adam are back to speaking again. He will even make some jokes some days. It is so good to laugh again but we are far from being fixed. I must admit, Adam is trying. Some Saturdays, he will sit with me and talk for hours and hours. Even passing going out with his friends. I gotta admit, it feels pretty darn good that he chooses me over his friends. LOL. It’s almost like we are back to the beginning where we would chat and chat for hours. I don’t mind starting over. In fact, this time is even better because I get to have real conversations with him face-to-face instead of just sending messages over my phone. Over the past few days, I started to notice how attractive Adam was. He’s always been attractive but I guess over the last 2 years of living together, I took it for granted. Whenever he looks at me and gives me one of those casual grins I can’t help but blush. I’m wondering if he is thinking about sleeping in my room again. To be honest, I’m ready. I’m obviously not going to push this. I’ll let him come when he is ready. I remember when we were first married in Morocco and waking up to find myself in his arms. I miss those days.
June 27, 2020
Just when I thought things were getting better, we are back to square 1. It’s almost like that game Snakes and Ladders and as we go up, we end up on a snake and end up in the beginning again. We talk every day now but during the week, it’s just mostly day-to-day talk. On Saturdays, we seem to have our deep conversations on this day. Last week, it seemed like we were making strides. To my own fault, I started to reminisce about our intimate times together. Last week, I told myself I wouldn’t push it but I guess I couldn’t help myself. After all, he’s in the same home as me, dressing so good for work and smiling at me. It’s getting really difficult to wait. Well he told me part of the reason for our problems is because he has a desire to marry a Muslim woman. Since last year, I had a feeling that he was more attracted to Muslim women. I guess my hope was that our love would overcome his desires. I asked him if he wanted me to convert to Islam. He told me he would never force me to convert but had I converted previously, he believes things would have been different in our relationship. I asked him what if I converted right now? He told me he knows me and knows that this conversion would not be sincere. I was kind of happy he said this. I wasn’t serious and just wanted to see what he would say. I do feel that he had false hope that I would convert. When he saw that I wouldn’t, realized I would never become a Muslim, I think that part of him was hurt. He did say that I am a very good woman and Muslim girls will need to step up their game.
July 11, 2020
This was an interesting conversation tonight. Tonight I told Adam that I still love him. I think I’ve never stopped loving him, even during the time I caught him lying to me. It hurt me but I just wanted him to be honest with me. This past month with us speaking so much, I feel that this has been the most honest he has been with us for the entire relationship. Well, he didn’t return the I love you. That was embarrassing. He did tell me that he has enjoyed the past month of speaking with me. He reassured me that he hasn’t made his decision yet. He wanted to go to Morocco to reflect and ponder about his life in America and our marriage. I told him that whatever decision he makes, we should still have these conversations. He agreed and said that he enjoys these conversations. He says he has never had talks like what we have with anyone else and feels close to me. I think my chances with him are good. I just have to be there for him.
July 27, 2020
This weekend there has been some sort of breakthrough. We are still far from full reconciliation. He is still stuck in his position regarding helping me with the expenses. We need to keep working on that. He is getting really comfortable with me. It’s now a point in our conversations where we talk about our future. The majority of the time, Adam speaks of a future with us together. We have even started to watch tv shows together. He has this tv show called Snowpiercer. It looks like some sci-fi show. Not that I don’t like sci-fi but it’s not really my type of show I like spending time with Adam and watching something together. Yesterday I convinced him to watch one of my tv shows with me. Since it was a Netflix show we were able to binge-watch it. It was pretty late when we started and Adam fell asleep after a few hours. I didn’t want to wake him from his sleep and I didn’t want to move and wake him so I just slept there on the couch with him. It wasn’t like sleeping in my bed and we weren’t intimate but I slept with Adam! I woke up with Adam holding me in his arms. I’m so ecstatic. As soon as he left for work, I had to write what happened. Like I said before, we’re making baby steps but I think we are going in the right direction.
August 8, 2020
Tonight Adam, told me about his childhood. He went into details of what he had to do to basically survive. He basically had to sell Kleenex on the street just so that his parents could buy gas to cook their food. He said that there were times when he didn’t even eat. I always knew that his life wasn’t easy but some of these stories he is telling me kind of explain some of his behavior in our marriage. We talked through some of the lies he has told me and how it hurt me. I told him even if we separate and he ends up with another girl if he doesn’t change, he’s going to end up in the same situation with the new girl. He told me that lately, he doesn’t want to talk about other girls when he is talking with me. I told him I appreciate him saying that but he really needed to change some of his habits if he wanted to be happy. I asked him if he was willing to go to therapy. He said that he was only comfortable speaking with me but he would think about it. It is nice to hear that he doesn’t want to think about other girls while he is with me. Maybe he is closer to choosing me than I originally thought. We are far from finished though. There is still expenses he needs to help me with. I think what I expect from him is fair and reasonable.
August 29, 2020
To my surprise, Adam came to me and said that he is unsure that he wants to leave. He says that although America is not perfect, he has gotten use to his life here. The next part really took me for a spin. He told me that these past few months has confirmed his love for me. He told me that I am his first love and he has shared his most beautiful moments with me. He also was scared of how Morocco and the Moroccans have changed since he left. I hugged him and told him I love him. I told him that I think he just having anxiety. I told him that he needed to go and fulfill the plan he had. After I spoke with him we watched some tv and he went to Tim’s room to sleep. Did I tell him the right answer? I think I may have pushed him away. Just when he confesses his love for me, I have to tell him to go. I’m such an idiot. He probably feels like I rejected him and that’s why he stopped talking. Why didn’t I just tell him to stay?
September 1, 2020
I just dropped Adam to the airport. He hugged really tight. It was almost like he was still having doubts about whether he should go. I had a few days to think about things and I think that it’s best that he goes. I do think that we are making progress but there are still some unresolved things he needs to fix. During the time he will be in Morocco, I hope he will seriously reflect on changing his ways. He hurt me a lot during these past two years and has really damaged our relationship. During the drive to the airport, I told him that I need him to help with the expenses and help with the debt (most of which is caused because of him). He also has to be willing to be a husband and give me, his wife sufficient time every day. He didn’t respond but I think he was just in contemplation of what I had just said. I think what I’m asking him is more than reasonable. After all, in his country, most of the men are expected to take care of the family. On a good note, he told me that he would try to contact me when he gets some time. That gives me some hope that he hasn’t given up on our relationship. As he left into the airport I started crying. Like really crying. I had to stay in my car for several minutes just to let it out. The strange thing is I don’t know why I started crying like that. He did a lot of bad things that I’m still hurting for the things he has done. I do miss him but to cry like that just confused me. I guess Adam leaving is harder on me than I thought.
September 19, 2020
It’s been 3 weeks and Adam has made no attempt to call me. I guess he is busy mulling things over in Morocco. I was hoping that he would try to speak to me once a week. I wish I knew what the future would be like when I decided to marry a Moroccan man. Now I wish I could warn women who are planning to marry or even talk to Moroccan men. They need to understand that America might be the best country in the world with plenty of opportunities but it doesn’t mean all of us are rich. The majority of us work really hard, for low salaries and work long hours. When they come to this country, they are expected to work really hard, for low salaries and long hours. On top of that they are expected to help with expenses, not keep their money to themselves and let their spouses suffer!
September 20, 2020
I sacrificed so much for Adam. Since we began the relationship, he’s needed my help. I’ve worked multiple, taken loans, and maxed out my credit cards, all while taking care of my son and Adam as well. Then the amount of money I spent just to get Adam to come here is ridiculous. I put myself in so much debt, I may have to start taking some drastic steps just to climb out. All of this could have been avoided if Adam had been open with me and helped me just like I’ve helped him. I feel like he used me as a pawn.
October 10, 2020
It’s been well over a month and Adam has not once tried to call me. My feeling that we are going to reconcile is really low right now. I think he’s made his mind up. I wish I could have one more conversation with him. Not to convince him but just to tell him a few things I have on my mind like, don’t lie to your spouse, don’t cheat on her. Yes withholding money that she doesn’t know about is cheating. Just because I’m not a Muslim doesn’t give him the right to leave me to suffer. He does not have the right to do anything behind my back without letting me know first. Throughout the years, Adam has used the excuse, this is how we do things in Morocco. He thinks saying that gives him a free pass to do anything he wants. Hiding things like his salary or even having a second job is absolutely wrong. He needs to tell me these things as we are a family and are trying to build a life together. Also, helping family is ok but should be done when and only when your spouse is financially stable. Adam knows the problems I have. I should be first on his priority to help. I’m a very simple woman. Just be honest with me and you will have a good marriage with me.
October 24, 2020
I’ve been trying to get a hold of Adam for the past week. Due to the debt issue, I’m having and it getting out of hand. I had to leave my home. Luckily Tim agreed to have me stay at his apartment. I’m basically sleeping on his couch. It’s only temporary until I can at least get the credit cards paid off. Yes I know I’m not supposed to be using credit cards but this year has been really stressful. With Tim taking me in, I can save on rent, water, and electricity. I’m hoping this is temporary and I can return back to Orlando by next year. My company says that we are going to be working remote until at least April of next year, so as long as I don’t have any unforeseen expenses, everything should work out. The only problem is that Tim doesn’t have room for Adam. I need to let him know that when he comes back he needs to find a place to stay. I’ve been trying to call him, and send him messages, and he isn’t responding. I’ve tried to get a hold of his brother and sister but they are not answering either.
November 17, 2020
Today I was served with divorce papers. Adam was supposed to go to Morocco to reflect on his life in America and our marriage. I asked him to stop lying and help me with the expenses. Obviously, in his time of reflection, he thought this was too much for him so he decided to end things. Right now, I have no idea where he is, although I suspect he is in America. I haven’t signed anything yet. I haven’t spoken to any lawyers. I haven’t even spoken to Tim. I’m just here thinking back at my relationship with Adam. I keep thinking about things like him disappearing for months in Morocco. Like him treating me like garbage that time I had to get him to pick me up from the market. Let’s not forget about him acting like a stranger to me in our home for 2 years. I sit here trying to write as a cry uncontrollably thinking about how much I lost because of this man. For crying out loud (literally), I’m writing this in Tim’s living room because I don’t even have a home to go to. I’m homeless! Adam has taken me to the lowest point in my life. I can’t imagine being at a lower point in my life. In my fifties, in debt, homeless, and now divorced. Why didn’t I see the signs? They are so apparent right now. I was such a fool to believe him.
The Scammed Bride has stopped writing after November 17, 2020
Summary
I have to admit, this last post was a bit hard to write. Over the few years, I’ve been posting this story, I felt myself hoping that our scammed bride would pull through and make her marriage work. The reality though was we saw red flags from the first year of the relationship with our scammed bride. The scammed bride refused to see the signs and unfortunately, the scammed bride ended up like many other scammed bride’s. As for the husband of the scammed bride, I think he knew what he was doing all along. My thinking was that his intention was to get to America. Once in America, he set himself up to have enough money so that when he was ready to leave our scammed bride, he could do so without having to depend on her financially. I think this is why he refused to help her with any of the finances. Last year he agreed to pay $50 a month to our scammed bride but I didn’t see any mention of this money being paid to her this year. I think the Morocco trip was to find a wife there and come back to America newly divorced and try to sponsor her in America. For the time when he was speaking with our scammed bride weekly and making the connection, I think this was just a tactic that he used to show that he tried to salvage the relationship. This way if the divorce goes to court, he can’t be accused of marriage fraud. Now this is just what I personally think. It could be true that this man gave all his money to his family and he really did try to salvage the relationship but to me, there are too many signs that show he used our scammed bride to get to America and waited a few years so he could leave our scammed bride in a reasonable time. Our scammed bride was left heartbroken. This was really low for our scammed bride and I’m so happy that she is with her son, who can help her to get back on her feet. The scammed bride finally found out the truth of her relationship in the end. I only wish the story of the scammed bride can help others who are in similar relationships.