Our story with our scammed bride will continue today. Since 2015 our scammed bride has been in a relationship with a Moroccan man who has shown several red flags that she has refused to look at. Throughout the years she communicated with this man through emails and messages. Despite him disappearing from time to time she was determined to keep the relationship going. She would use her savings, sometimes taking a second job just to visit the man in Morocco, ignoring the current financial situation at home. She was warned by several people about continuing to have a relationship with this man because of the red flags. When these red flags are pointed out to her she felt that she is the exception to the rule. She would even see some behavior from him that she knew was a problem but would often ignore or brush it away thinking it was temporary. She finally ended up marrying the man and started the sponsorship process of bringing him home. Her own government could see that something was wrong and denied her husband a visa to her country. Her belief that her relationship is genuine is so strong that she fought against her own government to bring him home. Despite the evidence, she won the case and was able to bring him home. We will now look into the time period that they were living together. We will be looking at multiple years as our scammed bride has less time to share her thoughts.
January 1, 2019
First post of the new year! For the past 2 weeks, I haven’t had the time to write anything down because you know, I was busy. LOL! It’s been great having Adam here with me. Every morning, I wake up and he is there lying in the same bed as me and I feel young again. Adam even says that sometimes he feels like I am younger than him. I tell him that we waited too many years to get to this point so I have a lot of catching up to do. LOL. But it’s not just in the bedroom that’s great. Just being out with him holding hands has been wonderful. Over the last two weeks I took him to all the big theme parks in Orlando. He’s so amazed at the theme parks and how massive they are. He says he wishes they would have at least one of these parks in Morocco. The day I took him to Epcot was a real treat for him. He got to visit the section for Morocco. He was so happy to see it. I know it’s only been two weeks but I can tell a part of him misses Morocco and his parents. Seeing the layout of the Moroccan section was just what he needed. He also met some of the employees working at that section and they were also Moroccan. I couldn’t tell what they were saying but he did take their numbers so I guess he has some new friends. I wish it was that easy for me to make friends, LOL. On Christmas, I took him to Mom’s home for Christmas dinner. He got to meet the family and everyone was happy to meet him. Boy, did they ask him a lot of questions. I had to jump him and help him from time to time but he handled himself well. Unfortunately he couldn’t eat the turkey or the ham because it wasn’t halal. I felt so bad about this because he explained this to me before. Especially since one of his new friends told him about the halal butcher shop where we bought our meat. I completely forgot to let my mom know. I’m not even sure if they have a halal turkey but we could have better prepared for this. He ended up eating the mash potatoes and salad. New years was just spent at our home. He didn’t mind this at all since him and his family didn’t celebrate New Year’s Eve, I didn’t mind this either since it was years since I went to a New Years Eve party. I would rather spend my time with the love of my life, alone at home. Tim, hasn’t met Adam yet. He’s living on campus and was working on a big project so he couldn’t make it home this year. He did say that his project would be done soon and he would come home maybe next week to meet Adam. Well, I need to do some house cleaning and prepare for work. It’s been the best two weeks of my life but I’ve spent so much money with the theme parks and everything else we’ve done, I’m back in debt. The good thing is that I don’t have to save any money for Morocco anymore and with Adam here, he can get a job and help with some of these expenses.
January 21, 2019
Well the honeymoon phase is over. It’s been exactly 3 weeks and things have changed considerably. Adam is becoming withdrawn and it hitting me hard. I always knew Adam would never be able to keep up the romantic pace he was at when he landed. Heck, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep that pace but I never thought things would drop this badly. My feeling is that he is extremely homesick. I guess it started during the first week of January. I took some time off of work to help Adam set up his social security card. After this day things. Looking back, it might have been the realization that getting the card meant he had to look for work now. Maybe this realization scared Adam. I thought he was ok because that same evening he made some calls to what I assume were his new friends he met at Epcot. I was hoping he was trying to get a job with the guys at Epcot but nothing has happened yet. His friends started to pick him up a few nights in the week. He said he is going to the mosque. He would usually leave by 6pm and come home we’ll after 12am. I know spirituality is important but some days especially on the weekends after a long, hard week at work, I want to spend some romantic time with my husband.
January 26, 2019
It’s taken years to try to live together. We would speak about how perfect our lives would be when that day would finally come. I sacrificed so much, mentally and financially to make this dream come true. The day arrives and we are finally together and he acts like this. Well tonight he was getting ready to leave and I just said enough is enough. We need to have a talk. He confessed that he misses his country, his friends, and his family. He says he even misses his cafe he would sit at every day. He says these friends are his only connection to his home. He assured me he loves me and will return back to normal but needed this time for himself. He then kissed me and left to be with his friends. I understand him being homesick. If I moved to Morocco and met some American friends there I would probably want to see them as often as possible too. Still I feel very lonely and this was not what how I wanted spend my weekends.
February 10, 2019
I’m wondering if there are any people who are going through the same thing as me. I know there are some online groups of women who have married Moroccan men but there always someone who finds themselves in that group and are determined to harass people claiming that we are in a scam relationship. I dealt with enough of that with the whole sponsorship ordeal. I just wish I knew how much time Adam needs before he is back to normal. Valentine’s Day will be in 4 days. I don’t think I will be able to take it if I have to spend another Valentine’s Day alone.
Mar 10, 2019
Things are getting better with me and Adam. He actually came back to his loving self a few days before Valentine’s Day. We went out for dinner and spent some time at Universal city walk. After that he started to talking and being close with me. He still goes out to the mosque with his friends but it’s mostly once a week now and he chooses Wednesdays as his “time with the boys”, instead of the entire weekend. He will go out with them on the weekends every month or so but it’s so infrequent, it’s not a big deal at all. We had a talk about his working and he said it would be better if he took some English classes so he could get a better job. I agree with him. It’s going to be a sacrifice but a better job would be beneficial for us in the long run. So now when I go to work, he is off to school. I’ll be home by 5:30 and he is home around 6pm. I think the classes are helping his emotional state as well. He must have really felt lonely in January when I left for work and he was stuck in this home alone until I came home. No wonder he wanted to see his friends 3-4 times a week. He is also taking driving lessons. He says if he gets his license he could drop me to work instead of paying for monthly parking. Once again, it’s more sacrifices but saving the money on monthly parking will pay off. And of course, Adam met Tim yesterday. He came by for the start of his spring break and we had a nice dinner together. They spoke and were very friendly together but I guess Tim wanted to talk to me more which I totally understand. After all I am his mother. His stay was very short as he left this morning. Him and his friends are going to Palm Springs for the week. It may not be like the honeymoon phase but life feels pretty darn good.
April 13, 2019
It’s been a month since I wrote my last entry. I wish I could say everything is great and my life is perfect. As money is getting tight and we need to start paying some of this debt off. Adam is trying to look for some part time work to help but he hasn’t had any luck. Last week he had another interview where they didn’t offer him the job. He’s been on quite a few interviews and it’s really starting to bring him down. All of this is understandable but what I don’t understand is why he is blaming me? He says my lifestyle has made it impossible for him to find work. I then reminded him of his situation in Morocco moving from job to job. That got him angry and we started fighting. I then told him that he was once a professor and he should try to focus on getting a job as a teacher. I don’t really know what I said but that made him lose his top. I started shouting and cursing, telling me I know nothing about anything and how America is just a fast paced country that only benefits the whites. To be honest, I was more confused than anything else. Is he trying to say I’m racist? If so, why would a marry a brown guy? He left the house and that day and I found him the next day sleeping in Tim’s old room. So for the past week I leave in mornings seeing him sleeping in Tim’s room. When I come home he is nowhere to be found. I understand he is upset but blaming everyone and everything isn’t going to help him. Then today being Saturday i supposed he couldn’t avoid me like he does during the week, he saw me in the kitchen. As he was getting food, he managed to say how he was disappointed in how our relationship was progressing and then took his food to Tim’s room. I guess he will stay there until his friends pick him up. Honestly I’m not even angry. I know how frustrated he is not being able to help. He just needs to find better ways at handling his anger.
April 20, 2019
I wanted to write as soon as this happened but then I thought, maybe let’s wait a week and see what happens. Suffice to say, nothing happened. To recap, Adam wasn’t getting any luck in long string of interviews. He was frustrated and started blaming me for everything. Well two days later he got a call from one of the interviewers telling him that he got the job. It’s a job at Publix unloading food from the trucks. The money isn’t great but anything helps.
April 30, 2019
As soon as things get better, they get worse. Our relationship is returning to what it was but now we are running into more money problems. My car mechanic has told me that I need to replace a bunch of parts on my car. The total is going to be close to $4000. I would have just dump the cost to my cards and deal with it later but my cards are maxed out. What’s worse is that I checked how much it would cost me to add Adam to the insurance policy and it’s going to cost another $300 a month. I know eventually Adam will have a steady well paying job but right now we need to figure out have to clear the $17000 debt. Adding $300 dollars a month is going to be more than we can afford.
May 3, 2019
Looks like we are in a better situation than a few days ago. I spoke to Adam about the situation we are currently in. He was able to arrange the car to be serviced by his friend’s mechanic. The cost will still be $4000 but I can pay him when I have money available as instalments or a lump sum. As for the insurance, Adam said don’t bother put him on the insurance for now. He said just picking me up and dropping me was worth $300 a month and he could just use the car with only my insurance until money is available. Although I do feel he should have his own insurance, I suppose he could use it to drop me and pick me up. He didn’t mention about the $17000 debt on my cards but I suppose this is the best he can do in a few days. Ramadan is coming up really soon and he will be busy for the entire month. I can bug him after.
May 12, 2019
Ramadan has started a week ago. Although I’m not Muslim, I still pictured this month with Adam being more spiritual and wanted to be close to me. Even it was to try to get me to participate in fasting or eating with him. Instead, he has almost completely ignored me. When he returns home he sits in Tim’s room with the door closed. He then leaves with his friends around an hour before sunset to go to the mosque. He claims he breaks his fast there, prays, and then eats there. After this he chats with his friends for a while and then performs the night prayers and special Ramadan night prayers. By the time he gets home, I’m already asleep so I’ve hardly spoken with him for the past week. I’m not exactly sure if he is telling me the truth and I feel that he is hiding something.
May 18, 2019
Last week I mentioned that I felt that Adam was hiding something. I was right. Ok, I know I left the part out that I thought he was making up the whole Ramadan schedule up. Let’s just say I was half right. At work I asked Fatima in IT, about the ritual of men going to the mosque, praying, eating, and praying again. She said it was normal especially for immigrant men who were use to the entire town fasting and eating at the same time. She said that muslims do these special prayers after their night prayers. I forgot the name of the prayer but it was so long because they recite the entire Quran during the month of Ramadan. I honestly feel bad for doubting Adam. I know I should trust him but he should still eat at home. If it’s special Ramadan dishes, I’ll find the recipe and make them myself. Now for the part that I was right about. I confronted Adam the other day just as he was getting ready to leave and asked him what’s wrong. After several attempts of prodding the information out of him, he finally confessed that he would rather be in Morocco with his family and friends. Because he is in a new country, Ramadan feels different and this is making him feel depressed.
June 15, 2019
I was hoping after Ramadan, Adam would snap back to the person I fell in love with. All he does these days is go to his English classes come home eat, and leaves for his job at night. And forget about talking to me, he doesn’t even make the effort at looking at me. Since Ramadan, he has stayed in Tim’s old room. I thought after he would return to our bed but he keeps sleeping there. It’s like we are two strangers share a home. He got the car fixed but when he brought the car home he said to give him the money whenever I get some extra money. I thought this is why he took the job at night. Also we haven’t even had the opportunity to talk about the $17000 debt.
June 22, 2019
This week I finally snapped at Adam. We ended up having a huge argument. After almost 2 months of silence I cornered him and asked what we would do about these debts. He started complaining that it was not his responsibility for the debts. I told him that we agreed that he would help to pay off the debts. He said that he didn’t remember saying this and he didn’t feel that he needed to help. I started yelling at him that these debts were his fault because of all the times I had to visit him and pay for fees just to bring him to the country. He then started talking about how America is so corrupt and the banking system is meant to keep you poor. He said all of us are like slaves. I have no idea what America being corrupt has to do with keeping his promise and helping me pay off the debts. I think I struck a cord with him after that as I said that at least in America a professor wouldn’t lose his job and end up working meaningless jobs for next to nothing. He exploded after that and started cursing and yelling. He took a cup and threw at a wall before leaving the home. I might have went to far but I’m in some serious trouble and he doesn’t even seem to care. The worst part about all of this is this was maybe the only communication we have had in almost 2 months.
July 6, 2019
It was two weeks since we had that huge fight. I was thinking that we would spend our lives living in the same home never speaking to each other again. Then yesterday, Adam knocked on the door. It was maybe around 12:30am so as soon as he got home from work, he came looking to talk to me. He sat on the bed and we must have spoken for almost the entire night. He explained the reason he couldn’t help was because he wanted to send money to his family. I told him, I honestly don’t have a problem with him helping his family but as I told him, he needs to help me too. He agreed and offered to give me $50 a month towards the debt. I also apologized to him for insulting him about losing his job and having to take small jobs. He then told me that since coming to America, it’s been a very hard adjustment for him. He explained that ever since the beginning of the year, he’s been depressed. He admitted that he was trying to hide his depression but he’s never been away from his family this long, especially his mother. Through talking with him I really understood a lot of the problems. Sometimes we get so swept up in our own problems that we can’t see the suffering of other people. And I should of know that when he becomes depressed he isolates himself. He did this a lot in Morocco when he would disappear for a month. I told him that we are married now and we need to make time for each other. He said he would try.
July 20, 2019
I was just thinking about the times that me Adam would spend picturing our lives together. Whether it was through online, or on a beach, or in a villa, we would spend hours talking about our lives and the exciting things we would do together. I think we both see that this is not the life we have dreamed of. I remember both of us planning to rent an RV and travelling around America. I guess I feel bitter that these plans will not happen. I would even settle for him sleeping in my room again.
Right now our main concern is money. He is working some sort of part time job. I tried asking him about it but he says it’s just some manual work. I didn’t want to push him since I could see he is demoralized that he has no choice but accept the work. I’m giving him his space for now but boy do I feel lonely.
August 15, 2019
Sometimes I think that Adam wished I could become Muslim so we can practice Islam together. He told yesterday that he misses his times at the mosque and spending time with people discussing about Islam. I feel like this is his way of trying to convince me to join Islam. I told him that I do respect his religion but I consider myself spirtual and my heart could not be confirmed to one religion. I could see his heart drop when I said that. Part of me wished I would have just said yes, I’ll be islamic. I think this was his peace offereing for us to get closer. He hasn’t spoken to me at all today. I know that I hurt him with what I said. I’m so stupid.
August 27, 2019
So some huge news. Adam will start a new job. I don’t know much about the job but the pay is a lot more and it is full time. He says that he won’t for another 10 weeks and says that he would like to go home to Morocco during this time. He says that he misses his family and hasn’t felt good in a long time. I understand what he going through. This year has been rough for him. But still I don’t think this is a good time to go to Morocco. It’s going to cost so much money and he still hasn’t started this new job. Most importantly, we need to work on our relationship. I tried telling him my concerns. He assured me the issues were only due to the stress of the job. Now that the new job is here, he will go back and see his family and recharge himself. When he returns, he will be the same man that I fell in love with. I told him to promise he would be home for the holidays. He said wasn’t sure about Thanksgiving but he would definitely return for Christmas. He already bought his ticket and will be leaving next week. I don’t why but I feel uneasy about this.
September 10, 2019
It’s been 2 weeks since Adam left. I miss him like crazy. What’s worst is that I haven’t heard from him since he left. I didn’t even get to take him to the airport because I was working overtime. I hope he is ok. I hope he is recharging himself and happy with his family. It feels like the days when I wish he was here with me. The only difference is that we won’t have to go through the immigration process again.
November 28, 2019
Today is Thanksgiving but Adam finally called! Over the past few weeks, he’s been sending emails to me that he is ok and will try to call soon. He finally called. At the time I was with Tim and my Mom preparing for Thanksgiving dinner. He seemed to be in a happy mood. It looks like the time away really changed his spirits. He said that he missed me and was looking forward to returning home. Says that he has a ticket for next week. He says things are going to be different especialy with his new job. He wants to get rid of the debt we have and then start planning to save for a house. This is the Adam I always wanted. The man who takes life by the horns. The one who could build a beautiful life with me. I’m so excited for his return.